CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA-

It was a great day to be outside this past Saturday in North Carolina, for some at least. One child may have decided to stay in his house if he knew what he was about to face that afternoon.

Billy Thomas age 6 and 1/2, had a birthday party that Saturday at a local mini putt golf course by his house. He invited all of his friends from class, and even a crush he had in another school. Reports tell us that Billy was so excited for the event he couldn’t sleep the night before.

Things were going great until pro golfer Tiger Woods showed up to the course completely out of the blue. When first arriving the kids of the party began cheering, and greeting Woods like a hero. Then, a source tells us Woods said this sentence “I’m not here for fans, I’m here to play”.

Woods sunk a hole in one on the very first par, and began to mock the children to try to get on his level. He continued to completely destroy these poor children on the course, even eating Billy’s very last piece of cake. “Cake is for winners” said Woods “I felt really good about how I played today, I felt like everything was going my way, and to be honest the competition here didn’t have a chance. Granted, some of them had to quit because it was nap time, I’m still feeling good about how I played.”

With this win Tiger did not only break a new record at the course, he is also the new proud owner of a golf ball he got to keep for winning, and a free ice cream sundae with two toppings.

“I know they say I can only get two topping of the sundae, but come I’m Tiger f**king Woods!”