Tag Archives: tennis

2014 ATP World Tennis Tour To Be Played Using Nintendo Wii

Paris, France – ATP-World-Tour-To-Be-Played-Using-Wii-Consoles-Wii-Sports-Tennis

A new angle will be added to this years ATP World Tennis Tour. After years of the “same old thing” when it comes to tennis matches, the ATP have decided to use technology to liven up this years tour.

The ATP reported that starting this year their World Tour will be played via Wii Sports Tennis, and all of their competing athletes will have to participate or will be disqualified automatically. The new event was created to bring a fun, familiar technology into the old sport, and also to prevent weather, fatigue, and injuries from stopping a match.

“It is very difficult to watch a match go on for hours, and then be postponed due to weather, or nightfall.” Said ATP representative Joe Goldsmith. “It will take time to get used to it, but I’m sure that people will really enjoy the new format over time. We have begun to lose rating dues to matches being to long, and not being finished that day, or raining on the court, that sort of thing. This is our best option here – a Wii can be stored in a dry place with lighting, and every professional tennis player has to be good at Wii tennis right?”

When asked if he thought that maybe it would be a better decision to just schedule the matches in well-lit, domed stadiums instead, Goldsmith said that the ATP wants progress, not just a place to play.

“We’ve been holding these tournaments for decades, and can anyone in this room even tell me the name of tennis player that isn’t named Agassi or McEnroe? Federer or Williams? I didn’t think so.” Said Goldsmith. “This Wii tournament, it will make the audience even more excited, because as soon as the games are over, they can start their our tournament on their consoles, right there in their living room!”

Tennis pros themselves seem to be ambivalent about the changes, and most are just happy that they are still going to be making extreme amounts of money for playing one of America’s least-favorite sports.

“At least I’m not a golfer,” Said Venus Williams. “My God, then nobody would know who I was.”

Nintendo of America, the company behind the Wii, is said to be a key sponsor in the tournament, and are donating as many Wii consoles as the ATP requests, and are also setting up the equipment for play, including the 80″ hi-defintion televisions that will be used at each event.

Venus Williams Comes Out; Discloses Lesbian Relationship

empire-sports-venus-williiams-gay-lesbian-homosexual-relationship-girlfriend-sexPALM BEACH, Florida– One of the best female tennis players made an announcement today that many people did not see coming. Professional tennis player Venus Williams, told sources today that she has been living happily with her girlfriend for several years now, but keeping it a secret for many reasons.

One of the those reasons happened to be that she was dating her Cuban boyfriend Elio Pis, and didn’t want to break the news to him until now. It is rumored that Williams kept Pis around to make it seem that she was straight, but Williams told us that she did care a lot for him, just not in a sexual manor.

“I love Elio as a friend, but nothing more after that” said Williams

“I wasn’t ready for my fans to find out about this, and to be honest I haven’t always felt this way. After years and years of playing tennis against females, and hearing them moan as the slam a ball at you, your feelings begin to change.”

Williams has not released who she is dating at the moment, but has admitted that it is a fellow tennis player. She did not comment if the player was a professional, amateur, or even just a person that does it as a hobby.

Only time will tell how this will effect Williams career, either in a positive or negative way. Some of her sponsors are old school, and even Venus admitted to us, she fears that they will cut ties with her after this hits the mainstream.

“I love to play tennis but some endorsements do pay my bills, and I’m afraid that I’ll be losing a lot of my sponsors. I’m wiling to take on any new sponsorships that may come my way.” said Williams