LEE, Massachusetts – 
School officials at Hardin High School in Lee, Massachusetts are trying to handle a whirlwind of a media storm, after word got out this past week of their school’s gym teacher forcing the girls in his class to play basketball, dodgeball, volleyball, and other sports as “shirts versus skins” games.
Greg Creek, a new hire at the school this year, was put on a temporary suspension while the superintendent of schools, as well as the school principal, looked into the case.
“We are extremely disturbed that one of our teachers would be forcing girls to play sports topless. It is highly disrespectful and mostly illegal, as most of the girls in Mr. Creek’s class were under age.” said Superintendent of Schools Melissa Dyer.
Creek, 36, has been a coach or a gym teacher at a number of New England schools over the last decade, and was most recently let go by a school in Concord, New Hampshire, for separating the homosexual students in his classes from the other students, and forcing them to do arts and crafts or sewing, as opposed to sports and games the rest of the class would partake in.
When asked why Creek, who had such a spotty record, would be hired at Hardin, Dyer said that she was not made aware until recently why Creek had been let go by his previous employers, and only that he portrayed himself as a great teacher with a lot of great ideas to keep the kids healthy and active.
“He also was not a giant hairy lesbian, as most high school gym teachers seem to be these days.” said Dyer.
Students in Creek’s classes seemed to be un-phased by being forced to play topless in gym class. Several of the girls even claim that once they started being selected for the “skins” teams, their popularity in school went up significantly.
Molly Hamlin, 17, said that before Creek’s classes, she was just a nobody at Hardin. “I used to be like the invisible girl here at Hardin. People thought I was a freak or something, I guess. I didn’t have a lot of friends.” Said Hamlin, a senior. “Once Mr. Creek started forcing us into the shirts/skins games, boys started noticing me a lot more. I guess once my shirt came off and they got to see this great rack I have, they actually noticed me. My Friday nights are always booked now. I’m so thankful for Mr. Creek!”
Parents are outraged, though, at Creek’s behavior, and most are calling for not only his job, but his literal balls on a platter.
“This kind of disgusting pervertism cannot be tolerated,” said Regina George, murdering the English language. “I am the mother of 3 young girls here, and I can’t believe that we have this man oogling our children’s dirty pillows. I am sickened.”
So far, Creek himself has not commented publicly, except to say that he was not doing anything wrong. “We just didn’t have enough colored jerseys to go around, so I improvised. It was not sexual at all. At least not as far as I was concerned.” said Creek in a prepared statement.
Currently, Creek will be on a multi-week suspension with pay until school officials decide what to do about his position. As of this writing, no legal charges had been filed.
