Tag Archives: Super Bowl

Super Bowl 50 To Be Played in Ireland, NFL Fans Outraged

June 25, 2014 JP Leave a comment

Belfast, Ireland –

The location for the 2015 Super Bowl has been announced today and it is not receiving the applause that NFL officials thought it would. The next super bowl will be held in Belfast, Ireland, as a way to attempt to widen the fan base that the National Football League has in the world.

Stunts like this have been done before, such as Notre Dame playing college football games in Ireland, and the ratings that came from those games were outstanding. The NFL has attempted the same approach, but with such a big game, and with many fans not able to travel to see it in person, people are not happy.

“So I have to travel to a far away land to see a game that is already extremely expensive to watch?” Said Derek Paul, a fan who was planning on attending the Super Bowl this year for the first time.

Reports speculate that their may be some hidden ties here that we are un aware of. Geoff Silver, a commissioner of the NFL, also happens to have some businesses in Ireland, and rumors have surfaces, alleging he is doing this for sponsorships and more money.

“I have heard the rumors and that is not the case.” Said Silver. “This has nothing to do with me. This was decision of the entire NFL committee as a whole. We just want to broaden our horizons a bit, and have this special game somewhere besides the United States. On top of that, have you ever tried O’Malley Whiskey? It’s smooth as an Irish river and makes you feel like a warm summer day.”

So far no sales or sponsorship has been made for this upcoming Super Bowl with the exception of one, O’Malley Irish Whiskey. It is unclear at this time who the game will be played for live, as most Americans will not be able to afford the travel, and the Irish don’t generally follow American football.

Headlines, News, NFL

NFL Announces Rock “Supergroup” Forming To Play Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Show

April 25, 2014 whoisgrimm Leave a comment

GLENDALE , Arizona –

Super Bowl XLVIII was only a few months ago, but talks of next year’s halftime show have already hit the circuit, and the names they’re listing are huge.

The Big Game is scheduled for play at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona at the beginning of 2015. Normally the halftime shows at the games feature a performance by a well-known rock ‘n’ roll or pop singer or group of performers. This year, the NFL has decided to go all-out, and bring in some of the biggest names in the history of music for a halftime show that could never possibly be topped.

“We honestly wanted to wait for S.B. 50,” said Melanie Aster, director of entertainment for the NFL. “After considering it though, we knew we just had to get all these performers together as soon as possible. It is highly likely some of them may be dead by next year, so we can’t take any chances.”

So far, the NFL has announced that the “supergroup” will consist of Roger Daltry of The Who, rapper Eminem, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, rapper Big-Boi, country music stars Garth Brooks and Wynona Judd, the pop band Fall Out Boy, post-hardcore/metal rockers Killswitch Engage, white-boy rapper Marky Mark, industrial rock band Nine Inch Nails, shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, Keith Partridge of the Partridge Family Singers, rapper Hopsin, Faith Hill, 90s grunge rockers Blind Melon, and the New York Philharmonic.

The lineup is the most impressive one that the NFL has ever had for a halftime show, and they are extremely happy that they were able to get all the artists on board for the performance.

“It was so amazing that we were able to get this great group of performers together and they’ve all agreed to go out there and rock our 49th halftime show!” said Aster during a recent conversation with reporters and fans.

When asked if she was aware that some of these artists no longer perform, and that at least one is a fictional character, Aster had little to say on the matter.

“All I can say to you is that all of these people have signed on the dotted line, and the ink is definitely dry. We may even have some more surprises the night of game!”

When pressed for details, Aster had little to say, although she did elude to the fact that spectators should be on the lookout for possible wardrobe malfunctions.

“I’m not naming any names, but let’s all just keep an eye on Marky Mark, okay?” Aster said, laughing.

Super Bowl XLIX will be broadcast live on NBC at the beginning of 2015.

News, NFL

The NFL, Sandy Hook Connection; Possible Lawsuit Pending

March 25, 2014 IamShado 1 Comment

ORLANDO, FL—

The conspiracy over the Sandy Hook school shooting seems to only get bigger as the years go by. A lawsuit maybe filed by Wolfgang Halbig for the release of information concerning the Sandy Hook children who sang at the 2012 Superbowl. The lawsuit in question is very simple. Why weren’t the names of the students listed in the Superbowl program guide? Why is the NFL not releasing the names? Why won’t the NFL release any financial information concerning these children,how much they were paid, lodging,food,etc.

School Safety Expert Threatened for Questioning Official Narrative-Video

(FEDERALJACK)
“Mr. Halbig isn’t your average “conspiracy theorist.” He’s worked in public education as a teacher, dean, assistant principal, principal of an alternative school and as the Director for School Safety and Security for the Seminole County Public Schools, a school district of approximately 65,000 students.”

“A former Florida State Trooper and United States Customs Inspector, Mr. Halbig was invited by the U.S. Department of Justice to train over 3,500 school police officers, school superintendents and school principals. He travels the country providing presentations and keynotes to a variety of school board associations and conferences and is a nationally-recognized school safety and security expert and consultant, who has provided safety training and school assessments for more than 4,000 school districts nationwide.”

Possible victims?-Video

Superbowl 47 Game program

To those of you not in the conspiracy loop, the children are believed to actually be the ones who were killed. Grown up versions of the ones shown on TV. This is not what Mr. Halbig is trying to find though, he just wants to know why it is such a secret.

Something interesting to note, It took only 72 hours for the Columbine report to be released. Sandy Hook took 11 mouths and is still the only school shooting that remains partially classified in the history of the United States.

Headlines, Opinion

The NFL Hates Religion and Religious Freedom.

February 28, 2014 IamShado Leave a comment

Let me make this absolutely clear; whether anyone wants to admit it or not, there is an attack on religion in this country. Backlash of a bill recently vetoed in Arizona has made that perfectly clear.

What is ironic is that America is a country established by pilgrims who escaped their country due to religious persecution and the founders thought religious freedom was so important that it is expressly granted to every citizen in the very first amendment to the United States Constitution.

Yet there is a large and vocal section of Americans (actually, I will say “anti-Americans”) who HATE religion and want to see religion banished from the public eye.

Point blank, there is simply NOTHING in Arizona Senate Bill 1062 that is remotely “Anti-gay”. In fact the word “gay” is not mentioned a single time in the bill, nor are the words “homosexual”, “LGBT”, “trans-gender”, “straight”, “Fag” or “Queer”.

You you think the bill is “anti-gay” then you haven’t read the bill or you are blinded by religious hatred. The bill is only 2 pages long and can be read in less than 10 minutes. You can even read it online right here.

The redundant, vaguely worded legislation merely authorized citizens to invoke arguments of religious conscience when faced with legal action against them by government or private parties and it’s something that’s ALREADY LAW in the entire United States which means that all the hatred over the bill is much ado about nothing.

Anyone who calls the bill “anti-gay” has either not read the bill or is blinded by religious hatred. Anti-religious bigots have spun the words of the bill to turn it in to something that it is not in order to advance their hate-filled agenda.

And, now, the NFL has either caved to public opinion or they too don’t want Americans to have religion freedom. On Tuesday the NFL put pressure on Arizona Governor Jan Brewer to Veto the bill by threatening to move Super Bowl XLIX out of Arizona.

So, either the NFL has not read the wording of the legislation, they are anti-religion or they are cowards who are caving in to misguided public opinion. Either way, it doesn’t say much for the character of the NFL.

News

Tragedy: Fans Who Stuck Around For Bruno Mars’ Marathon Concert Dead

February 15, 2014 Ah Leave a comment

Bruno, who seemingly had no idea of the events occurring, sings happily well into the ninth day of this concert

RUTHERFORD, NJ – Though the average fan had thought the NFL season had wrapped up, the devoted fans note that halftime performer, Bruno Mars, was still performing days and even weeks after the end of the televised portion of his concert. While many though this was the end of the performance, it was merely the beginning. A diehard group of fans stuck around, and sadly the event staff at MetLife stadium weren’t able to produce the necessary provisions for the estimated 2,500 people there. Reports indicate at least six people died and a handful more are still recovering in a local New Jersey hospital.

The staff at empiresports.co was lucky enough to speak to one of the survivors, Pro-Milkshake Critic, Dianne Hansen, who had these harrowing comments: “The staff stopped showing up to clean the restrooms, it quickly became a Zoo, the Superbowl was on Sunday, I’d say by Wednesday the field was just stricken with feces and urine. I mean, don’t get me wrong listening to Bruno for literally hundreds of hours was well worth it, and it’s a shame so many people died.”

A spokesperson from the NFL, Darrell Stephens was spoken with, he released a statement saying, “While we are horrified and shocked at the brutality and death count of this concert, what the hell were these people thinking staying at this concert for so long? What did they eat?”

Stephens did raise some interesting thoughts, for that we dug into security tapes of the field. You can see early on that people began as you may expect, they first exhausted the stadium vendors, quickly moving to wild birds they had trapped. However, once the birds wised up the humans reacted in a way that appears to be ripped out of some sort of Stephen King film or what one might come to expect from a starving wagon circle in the Oregon Trail in the 19th century: they began resorting to cannibalism. Happily we report the youngest victim of these horrid crimes was only 19, so no minors were eaten alive.

Bruno Mars, the performer, seemed to not take any notice of it when pressed by our crack squad of journalists he merely said “Jesus, they were ——- eating each other out there? I knew they sounded weird. Weird and like, really, really hungry. Oh Christ not again my publicist is gonna chew my — out.”

Fans who did survive the melee and violence vehemently asked the writer of the story to include the fact that despite the gore, feces, and death the concert was great.

“Seriously, on the 8th day he did a version of ‘Wanna Be A Billionare’ like you couldn’t believe. Two thumbs up!” -Barbara Sands, Spanish Language Enthusiast

“Despite the fact I can’t get the taste of human blood out of my mouth, it was a excellent show. I gained a lot of respect for Bruno.” -Barney Lyon, Alexander Hamilton Impersonator

“Though around the 6th night there was a tiny bit of a lull, he really rebounded, day 11 was my personal favorite. I mean my mother was eaten alive on day 6 so maybe that marred my memory a bit.” -Aaron Fransisco, Welcome Mat Maker

News, NFL

Super Bowl Was Held Yesterday At Earth’s Core To Avoid Inclement Weather

January 26, 2014 Ah Leave a comment

EARTH’S CORE – Roger Goodell held a press conference today informing the country that the Super Bowl, the countries biggest sporting event was held yesterday, in a super secret facility in the Earth’s core.

“Yes, to avoid the possibility of snow and cold, we decided it would be best if we moved it straight underground. We have actually discovered a place within the molten crust where you can literally control environment. After mulling over countless options: playing the game as scheduled, moving the game around, even moving it to another place on the surface of Earth were all discussed, but this was the only credible option.”

The game was played in front of 0 fans, only the teams and referees, and Mr. Goodell were allowed down. The Seahawks won 24-17.

“Oh my god, it was a hell of a game if that makes you guys feel any better! Jesus, a last second interception return by none other than Richard Sherman, just really a picture perfect game. Damn shame you guys missed it.” Goodell said the game wasn’t taped, but he did remember a few plays, “oh yeah, I remember this one play and one of those big guys, number 67 I think, on the Broncos just had quite a block, probably a six, seven yard rush. Real fluid though.”

The best part though, was the halftime show, according to players “They literally found a species of what must be some sort of imp or something and these little dudes could just shred on the guitar, totally gnarly.” said Peyton Manning who also added, “by the way, I’m retired as hell now, ordered me like seventeen Papa John’s pizza and I’m just gonna go to town.”

At publication time Goodell was trying to remember what Seahawks corner, Richard Sherman, had to say after the game, “I remember he was real excited about something, I can’t remember what… I think it was like a good parking spot or something… Christ, what was he saying. I don’t know. Anyways, good season fellas!”