Tag Archives: Steroids

Scientific Study Shows Massive Percentage of UFC Fans Use Steroids

May 28, 2014 IamShado Leave a comment

NEW YORK CITY, New York –

The latest findings from a company in New York are turning out to be an eye opener for the UFC. Trigodroid, Inc., a research company, released their data earlier today that showed that an astounding 62% of UFC fans are using some type of steroid. The study, which originally was designed to judge the health of average sports fans, was adjusted after the topic of steroids and the UFC were brought up by interviewees multiple times.

What researchers discovered is that the aggressive behavior displayed during UFC events was contributing to the high rate of steroid use among the fans. Shannon Smith, a manager for Trigodroid, told us that “‘Roid rage” was high amongst the arm waving, chest flexing, neck tattooed, growling fans.

“Most normal sports fans do not exhibit the barbaric behavior seen at each live UFC event. You don’t see basketball or baseball fans acting crazy for the cameras.” Said Smith. “Sure, you might see that kind of thing at a monster truck event or by fans of the NFL, but that behavior is most likely just the result of generations of inbreeding and poor education, not steroid abuse.”

Another statistic from the poll shows that the rage fans show is not solely isolated to live events. UFC fans who watch at home are eight times more likely to destroy their own property than any other group of sports fans. Smith told us that handyman services saw a 35% increase in service calls in area codes with high PPV buy rates after the last UFC bout.

“It is truly amazing that these people get so caught up in the fight action, not to mention the syringes filled with growth hormones intended for cattle, that they break TVs, punch walls, and set couches ablaze.”

If all the data that was gathered turns out to be accurate, then Trigodroid will be talking with and testing fans of other sports, starting with UFC competitor Bellator MMA, as well as fans of NASCAR and professional bowling.

MLB, News

Josh Beckett Caught Cheating After Pitching No Hitter for LA Dodgers

May 27, 2014 tony23 Leave a comment

LOS ANGELES, California –

Josh Beckett threw baseball’s first no-hitter of the season earlier this week, but later tested positive for possible HGH use during a routine drug check. Many suspect he could be a part of the Anthony Bosch Miami Clinic scandal. Beckett previously played for the Boston Red Sox, and prior to that he was a pitcher for the once Florida Marlins, which is what has lead to the tie to Anthony Bosch. Bosch was caught in a controversy a few years ago after several MLB players were caught and released for receiving HGH and other steroids and drugs at Bosch’s bio-genesis clinic in South Florida.

MLB officials, faced with another possible steroid/cheating scandal, have decided to test every player that has ever been a part of the Marlins organization, including current rosters. With this search they hope to stop the use of HGH, as well as other forms of cheating in baseball. The only exception, of course, being the New York Yankees, who are always privy to 2nd chances when it comes to cheating and rule breaking.

As of the time of this writing, Beckett had not commented on the accusation, except to say that it was completely false. Agents for Beckett and the LA Dodgers also had no comment. There is speculation that other members of the Dodgers could also be using HGH or other steroids, and the commissioner of baseball has said that it is possible that there may be a team-wide or even league-wide testing of all players and staff, including umpires, coaches, and even batboys.

Headlines, MLB, News

Alex Rodriguez Demanding More Money

April 9, 2014 JP Leave a comment

NEW YORK—

The Yankees have been through a lot these last past years, and we may be seeing some what of a drought from the historic franchise. With Rivera retired, and Jeter on his way out, these two main faces of the Yankees will hope that their team will keep the legacy going, and continue to win World Series.

With a roster getting more and more slim the Yankees really need to focus on getting the veteran players into more of a leadership mode. They need to rely on some of the more experienced players to take the younger guys under their win, and make sure they help mold the future of the team.

One hard hitting Yankee that isn’t giving the best impression is Alex Rodriguez. Rodriquez spent most of his time on the bench last year due to things so sneaky, we can get sued if we even mention them. The kicker to the case is the fact that Rodriquez is requesting a pay raise even though he will be likely to stay right where he was last year..in the dugout.

“You know most people think it’s hard to hit homeruns in a clutch spot, or make a diving play with 2 outs, and the bases loaded. I’ve learned from sitting out the true test of a baseball player is sitting out for games.”

We asked if this was because you have to watch your team play, and the anxiety of you wanting to be on the field is killing you mentally?

“Not at all, its tough in the dugout, sometimes my legs fall asleep for sitting to long. Also, if it is a day game sunlight can poke through and hit me right in the eyes. It’s frustrating, and this is why I’ve decided to ask for a pay raise.”

Rodriquez will receive the entire budget the Yankees have to pay their players, while the rest of team will be paid in hotdogs, and A Rod bobble heads.