Philadelphia, Pennsylvania— 

The Sixers are breaking records this season, but not at all in a positive way. With only 15 wins this season Philadelphia fans are doing what they do best, and completely giving up on them. “Andy Reid is a bum, and the 76ers need a new coach” said one drunk angry fan.

The only thing the team has hopes on this season is to break the current record for longest losing streak by an NBA team. The Cleveland Cavaliers lost 26 straight games in the 2010–11 season, but players on the Sixers are optimistic that if they stay focused they can hold the next title of longest streak of games lost.

“It takes a lot of focus, and you have to play each game with the right mindset. It’s tough though to have to shoot once in a while, and sometimes the ball happens to go into the hoop. Do that enough and you win a game, which is not what we are trying to do.” said Nerlens Noel.

It has also been rumored that if the Sixers accomplish this goal, and continue to do terrible, they will retire the franchise completely. This meaning that there will  no longer be an NBA team in Philadelphia, which for some could mean at least a few months without disappointment.

“Phillies suck, Eagles suck, and the Sixers suck” said the owner of the NBA team. You know you can learn a lot from Philadelphia teams, they disappoint people in such a way there is almost an art to it, I’m just happy my team can follow trade. If we have the worst season in NBA history we would want to just give up there, and remain the worse team of all time, it would be an honor if we can pull this off”.