OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA-
After causing waves with a revealing Rolling Stone interview in which he seemed to endorse Young Earth Creationism, Los Angeles Clippers star Blake Griffin is not only backtracking, he’s bitch-slapping the very idea and the people who actually believed it.
”After that whole I slapped Justin Bieber thing, it seems people are gullible enough to believe anything,” Griffin commented after Tuesday’s practice. “So I thought I’d just casually throw it out there that I actually think the world is only 6,000 years old.”
Sure enough, the national press ran wild with it, and although some publications implied Griffin may have been joking (he does, after all have a really great, dry sense of humor), most people took it at face value. Griffin slammed that theory home like one of his monster dunks.
“You would have to believe that carbon testing is fake, dinosaurs were put here by Satan to test our faith in God, and that nut job Ken Ham is a good alternative to actual, peer-reviewed science,” said Griffin, as he took a swig of Red Bull, “I mean, I may be a jock, but I’m not an idiot.”
Griffin, who has continued his stellar regular season play right into the playoffs, wasn’t done with his rant, denigrating the citizens of Memphis in the process, a city where the Clippers played their last two Playoff series and where Creationism is taught in schools.
“Memphis was a cesspool of ignorance,” he continued, “I’m from Hollywood. I’ve got the brains! And I’m glad we’re playing the Warriors this year in the friendly confines of Oracle arena with the diverse, educated, cultured citizens of the Bay Area. Even though we despise the Warriors and refuse to have pre-game chapel with them. By the way, I go through the motions with that too. I mean, clearly, God is dead.”
In a related story, Blake Griffin recently claimed to be the reincarnated soul of Andy Kaufman.