Tag Archives: Redskins

Washington Changes Name From Redskins To Natives

Washington, D.C. – empire-sports-washington-redskins-change-name-to-natives-racism

Washington, D.C. NFL team the Redskins have always had one of the most controversial team names in sports history. There have been the people who support it, and the people who hate it. The positive was that the name tries to give honor to the people whose ancestors were settled here first. The negative is that the name is ridiculously offensive, using a derogatory slang term for an entire race of people as a sports team. It is because of this division amongst fans that Washington has decided to unveil a new name that they hope will bring the two sides together. The franchise owners have decided to change the name from Redskins to Natives.

“We did not think we could ever find a name that would allow us to part with the name Redskins.” Said Dan Snyder, majority owner of the team.  “Then one day the name Natives popped into my head, and I knew it would work. It was brilliant. The new name will even allow us to keep the same logo. It is only the moniker that is changing. Because we understand this is a big change for fans, we will be working on a date and time where anyone who recently purchased Redskins gear can exchange it with us for Natives merchandise of equal or lessar value. We take care of our fans. Go Natives!”

The team name change will take effect starting in the 2015 season. If you do happen to have any Redskins merchandise, you may want to hold onto it for now. It’s very possible that with many people making exchanges on merchandise, Redskins memorabilia could become rare and skyrocket in price. If you are looking to exchange it, check the official Natives website for dates and times of exchange.

President Obama Pressures Washington Redskins To Ditch Namesake Due To Complaints From Indian Rights Activists

empire-sports-washington-redskins-change-name-obama-native-americansWashington, DC—

The Washington Redskins have decided to change their name due to pressure from Indian rights activists and President Barack Obama. Roger Goodell announced today that he had received a call from the President stating “It would be in the best interest of our country to do what’s right for the many and not for the few.”

Goodell said that he was aware of the problem being first and foremost on his agenda. He asked what the President thought would be a politically correct name for such a storied franchise. “Oh, you are a franchise?” Yes Goodell responded. “How can you be a franchise if you don’t pay taxes?”  “We have smart accountants” Goodell replied.

Goodell went on in his 10 minute conference to elaborate what they had decided to do. “I made a deal with the devil to get this thing over with. The deal included a 25 year tax exempt status for all players, teams and anyone working for us as long as the Redskins name is changed.”

Goodell was in a quandary discussing the name change. “What do you think it should be?” Goodell quipped.  They discussed the location, background, history of DC. They decided to put it up for a vote of the people and by the people. There will be 10 names to choose from and the people will decide the out come.

Potential monikers:

1. Washington Monuments

2. Washington Liberals

3. Washington Tomahawks

4. Washington  Scalpers

5. Washington Cherokees

6. Washington Chiweppas

7. Washington Headhunters

8. Washington Mudslingers

9. Washington Idoits

10. Washington Brownshirts

Goodell ended the conference stating that he also received a summons from PETA for using animal team names.