Tag Archives: pot

Joe Rogan Fails Drug Test; Suspended By UFC

empire-sports-ufc-suspends-joe-rogan-marijuana-pot-brownies-mma-fight-deadLAS VEGAS, NEVADA—

Stand up comedian and UFC fight commentator, Joe Rogan, has been suspended by the UFC for failing a company mandated drug test. The UFC has long tested the fighters, but just recently started the testing process for all employees and sub contractors. Rogan has been a part of the UFC since 1997 & has received much acclaim for the broadcast work he has done for UFC fights. Rogan has been suspended indefinitely and his temporary replacement will be Chael Sonnen.

This news is quite peculiar, as Joe Rogan is a very outspoken proponent of marijuana. He hosts a very popular podcast on which he adamantly supports the legalization of the drug, and regularly gets high in preparation for the show. Mr. Rogan went on Twitter to comment about his suspension, saying it was really ridiculous and he hoped it would be straightened out soon. “There was no need for a drug test, I told them I ate some pot brownies a couple hours before the testing. They wasted their time”, tweeted the former Fear Factor host. We reached out to the Rogan camp and spoke with a Brian Redban, who produces Rogan’s podcast. Redban, a very relaxed stoner himself, stated that his boss was going to be just fine if the UFC never called him back to work at all. “Joe has so much money, it is insane dude. How do you think we get to do a three hour podcast everyday? It ain’t magic SON! We are flush with cash, Joe just loves MMA so it is a labor of love for him.”

I for one, hope this is resolved quickly. Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan make up one of the best tandems in sports commentary today. It is odd to think that a stand up comedian could be the best choice for play by play MMA action, but Rogan is great at his job.

**Update** Dana White has just announced that the UFC will no longer test for marijuana. White released a statement saying, “The UFC will continue to test for steroids and other harmful drugs like meth and cocaine. But we are going to use common sense and discontinue testing for pot. Joe Rogan is reinstated immediately. That means right fucking now! By the way, the suit that had the bright idea to suspend Rogan, has been fired”. This is great news for fight fans and the UFC. Perhaps the US government and other corporations should take note of this decision. It is bad to think that Dana White is the only voice of reason here in the USA.

Girlscouts And Denver Broncos Team Up To Sell Cookies Outside Of Marijuana Stores

empire-sports-denver-broncos-girlscout-cookies-pothead-marijuana-storeDenver, Colorado—

After the NFL Season the Denver Economy started struggling Coach John Fox had an Idea how to support local profits and pump some money back into the City. City officials have approved the plan and the Denver Broncos have officially teamed up with the local Girl scouts to sell cookies to hungry marijuana customers.

Wide Receiver Demaryius Thomas said “I think it be great that we be pumpin’ cash back into Denver and maybe we get a little puff, puff, pass at this charity event”.

Local Marijuana users think that girl scout cookies are the perfect snack to fight off those “Munchies”. The girl scouts have raised 5.6 thousand dollars so far and will use that to give back to the Denver community.

Quarterback Peyton Manning proceeded to say that “Im really glad we can help out the Girl scouts and the Denver Economy at the same time! OMAHA!”.

Not only does this attract out of town guests but it raises the cookie sales and marijuana sales in Denver.

Denver has credited John Fox for the Idea and hopes other local towns will follow their lead. Denver’s Mayor, Michael Hancock has awarded John Fox with the “Towns Alive National Award” for bringing their economy back to life. Girlscouts and Denver both will be awarded from this smart move.


Colorado Rockies Baseball Team To Sell Marijuana Brownies At Their Concession Stands

Enpire-sports-colorado-rockies-pot-brownies-marijuanaDENVER, COLORADO –

With the new laws in effect in Colorado, major sports organizations are looking for ways to cash in on the newest legal cash crop in the state.

Sources are reporting that Major League Baseball’s Colorado Rockies plan to sell food items which contain marijuana at concession stands during games next season.

The first item on the list?  Pot Brownies.

An official within the Rockies organization stated that the Rockies organization has given the green light to concession stands selling marijuana brownies.

High ranking officials in the Rockies organization say they are thrilled at the new menu item since they note that it will bring in tens of thousands of dollars per month.

The Rockies head office is hoping that the sale of marijuana brownies will also boost sales of other concession items.  What better way to sell concessions that to give everyone in the stadium the munchies?

SIDENOTE: An inside source with the organization said that it appears that the strain of marijuana that will be used in the making of the marijuana brownies will be Durango Bango which is considered to be the very best weed in the Rocky Mountain State.

Legalized Marijuana’s Impact On Football; High Times At Tailgate Parties

Empire-sports-marijuana-nfl-colorado-tailgateDENVER , CO –

Along with the great smell of hotdogs, hamburgers, steaks and ribs will be the overwhelming smell of Marijuana.

The legality of this substance will not only change the pregame festivities but also the attitude of the fans. Bronco’s fan Larry Smith said “This is gonna be wild, being high watching the game live, I hope I can stay awake ’till the end.”

Another thing to take into consideration is the 11th man performance. “I just hope their not in a stupor when we need them.”- Peyton Manning. The Broncos fans are usually in the top 5 generating noise but that could change drastically. Owner and Chief Executive Officer of the Denver Broncos, Pat Bowlen has sent in a request to the NFL for some help with the rules concerning the possible crowd noise or lack thereof. “It’s just not fair to us that with our high altitude combined with half the fans being high, we will not have an 11th man at all.” “We will be the only team in the NFL with this problem.”

Topics that will be discussed will be the use of loud speakers to generate crowd noise, ways to keep the pot heads from entering the game (since it is legal in Colorado, it can be used outside the stadium) using drug sniffing dogs or nose swab testing each fan as they enter.

This whole thing has even more potential problems concerning halftime. The vendors are going to have to hire more workers and increase the amount of product they bring to sell. “This is going to turn out to be an eat-fest not a football game.”- Bronco fan
Vendor Jim Jones stated “I’m really excited about it, we will see at the first game, but we are going to be ready. I expect to double my profits!” When the munchies set in as they lose their high, it could be pandemonium in the concessions area.

Very long lines are expected, so much so that most of the heads will not make it back to their seats until the 4th quarter. At Denver and extended halftime may be in order.
That’s why they call it Mile High!