PLAYA DEL REY, CALIFORNIA—

Very early this morning, embattled Lakers owner Jim Buss made a phone call to legendary coach Phil Jackson.  Unfortunately for Phil, it was not the one he and most Lakers fans had been hoping for.  Still somewhat groggy, Jackson recounted the story to Marc Stegewick of the Los Angeles Times.

“I heard a lot of low-pitched giggling,” said Jackson, the 11-time NBA championship winning coach, “and then a voice asking if my refrigerator was running.”  I knew it was Jim because my cell phone said ‘Jim Buss,’ plus – he’s my brother-in-law. Even though we don’t talk often, I do recognize his voice.”

Jackson asked why he was calling him so early, remembering how he was woken up in the middle of the night back in November 2012, when he was passed over for current Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni (62-74 record).

“He paused, then changed his voice a little bit and asked if I had Prince Albert in a can,” continued Jackson, “I just hung up, started my meditation a little earlier than usual, and then decided to take the GM job with the Knicks.”

The Lakers owner, often called Jim “Short” Buss by disgruntled Lakers fans, denied being on the other end of the phone call.

“Uh… that wasn’t me,” he said.  Asked what message he had for fans of the 16-time World Champions, Buss was surprisingly honest.

“Screw ‘em.  Look, our fans are pretty spoiled and entitled, and I think it’s my responsibility to show them what it’s like when your favorite team gets run into the ground by an inept owner.  They need a dose of reality!”

Jackson is scheduled to arrive in New York by the end of the week for a press conference.  He even sounded surprised himself, “If you would have told me a few years ago that Jim Dolan would be the better owner to work for, I’d have said you were crazy. Remember, this was a guy that paid Isaiah Thomas $24 million to grope women and fronts his own embarrassingly shitty blues-rock band.”