Tag Archives: Nude

Headlines, News, NFL

Tom Brady To Pose Nude For Playgirl Magazine

May 20, 2014 JP Leave a comment

BOSTON, Massachusetts-

Heads up ladies, and some men that are still in the closest, one of the most praised quarterbacks in the NFL has just singed a multi-million deal. The talented, and handsome Tom Brady, QB for The New England Patriots has just announced he will be doing a cover shoot with the magazine Playgirl. Brady has had a very successful career on and off the field, winning multiple Super Bowls, and being a piece of eye candy for several super models.

Now, we get to see Brady in a way we never had before, completely naked. The New England QB is excited for the chance to show his fans the true Brady, and people are thinking that this will either break or make his career. Brady career may literally be hanging in the balance, if the shoot doesn’t go the way that the magazine is planning, then this could be a career ending move for him.

“I mean he is a handsome dude so ladies are going to by a lot of copies. That being said if Tom comes up with a 4th and inches in his trouser it could kill his career. There will never be enough Super Bowl rings that can fix an ego after showing the world you have a small penis.” said a local Patriots fan

“I don’t even follow football, but I would train my entire life, go to college, get a starting spot as a center, hope to get drafted by the Patriots as a center, just to have Tom’s hands between my legs.” said one crazy lady

The issue is to be released in the late fall with people already reserving copies to the issue. Will a sack be a QBs worse enemy once again? Only time will tell.

Headlines, News

Floyd Mayweather Jr Gets Naked Outside Of Washington DC Club

May 17, 2014 IamShado Leave a comment

WASHINGTON, DC — Notorious boxing champion Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr. is no stranger to flashing his money around publicly, but this weekend he shocked many on the streets of Washington D.C. by flashing more than just money.

According to several eye-witnesses, an apparently intoxicated Mayweather got a little too fresh with some women passing by outside of a club in D.C. before dropping his pants and yelling obscenities towards the women.

“He was in large group of men, some that looked like body guards, and he started flashing a whole lot of money at some women passing by,” said Joseph Goldsmith, who witnessed the altercation. “I guess he didn’t like that the women ignored him because he started taking his clothes off and yelling something like, ‘you know you want this, bitch’.”

Witnesses said Mayweather and his group hopped in to a nearby car and fled before police arrived.

DC Police say they may have enough evidence to arrest Mayweather for indecent exposure as several witnesses had captured cell-phone photos of the incident although no charges have been officially filed.

Mayweather, nor anyone from his camp have commented on the allegations.

Headlines, News

Erin Andrews Suspended From Fox Sports; Forced To Finish High School

May 6, 2014 Frankie Minchia Leave a comment

According to sources, Fox Sports mannequin Erin Andrews will take a leave of absence in order to study for her high equivalency diploma. Although her position requires no intelligence or expertise whatsoever, Andrews believes adding a GED to her portfolio will make her more marketable. Clearly, very little thought has gone into the matter.

Andrews was, of course, stripped of her high school diploma and Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Florida in 2004 when it was revealed she received passing grades from teachers and professors in exchange for sexual favors. She was subsequently hired by ESPN the same year. Many insiders believe she used Chris Berman’s infamous casting couch to procure a position with the all sports network.

“They don’t call him Boomer for nothing,” said analyst Tom Jackson. “Erin was hired after her first ‘interview’ with Chris, and was still walking with a conspicuous limp several days later.” (It is rumored that commentator Skip Bayless was hired under similar circumstances.)

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one Fox executive said this of Andrews: “We all had her, even the guys who didn’t have anything to do with her next promotion. This is one woman willing to do anything to get on TV… and then some.”

Embarrassed by the scandal, Andrews went public and, during an emotional press conference, admitted that, despite graduating from high school and college, she had never learned to read or write.

Inspired by her inexplicable popularity, Andrews received Cosmopolitan magazine’s “Against All Odds” award, and was praised for “making her mark in a man’s profession despite an obvious inability to think coherently and form intelligible sentences.” Andrews would later serve as the focus of an article entitled, “How to Sleep Your Way to the Top.”

It is a well-known television industry secret that Andrews worked as a high-priced call-girl while at the U of F in order to pay her way through college. Perhaps it was this sordid chapter of her life that motivated Erin to become a spokesperson for the “Leaving the Life” foundation, an organization dedicated to bringing normalcy to the lives of former prostitutes.

Tutors for Andrews report she is close to mastering her ABCs, and is scheduled to begin addition and subtraction lessons next week.

Headlines, News, UFC

UFC Trying To Attract More Female Viewers, Staging Nude Fights

April 28, 2014 whoisgrimm Leave a comment

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

The UFC, the largest mixed martial arts promotion in the world, announced on Sunday that they were going to be starting an off-shoot of their main UFC bouts wherein all the fighters would compete nude.

“Since its inception, the UFC has always been a “man’s-man” kind of sport. Violent, bloody, and definitely not bringing in the female viewers.” Said Dana White, president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship promotion. “We know that women are normally turned off by violence, but we also know that what women are turned on by is naked men with six-pack abs grabbing and touching each other, rolling around on the ground, and that’s where the idea for our new spin-off league comes from.”

The new all-nude fights will not be part of the regular rotation of fights currently happening in the UFC, but they will feature all the same fighters competing. The fights will all be held under the banner of the UNFC, or the Ultimate Nude Fighting Championship, because if nothing else, the UFC is completely uncreative. All the fighters will have to compete at least once every six months in this new league if they want to maintain their current contracts with the UFC.

“We have decided, too, that the fighters will not be paid any extra for their time fighting in the UFNC. We pay them enough now, with most of our top guys earning millions of dollars, that this is just something we’re going to edit into their contracts to force them to do. The take-home purse will still vary depending on the matches. In the end, it’s all for the good of the sport.” Said White.

So far, most fighters who have been made aware of the new spin-off fights are all for it.

“It’s been my dream to fight naked!” said Benson Henderson, former UFC Lightweight champion, and current #2 ranked lightweight fighter in the world. “You get into the ring, and you’re dancing all around, looking for the perfect opportunity to smash the other guy in the face…the only thing that could make that more freeing would be if I didn’t have to deal with those pesky shorts!”

Male fans of the UFC took to Twitter and Facebook after the announcement, and were not happy with the idea of their favorite badass fighters having to fight nude.

“This sh*t is retarded. They making Cerrone fight with his d*ck out now #UFCWTF” said Twitter user @BigFahkinCack, referencing fighter Donald Cerrone, another lightweight contender in the UFC.

Not all social media posts were bad, with an astounding portion of female sports fans (naturally) all for the idea. Twitter user @SuperWetNHorny said “It’s about time they took the rest of the clothes off those UFX (sic) fighters. #BowChickaWowWow”

“We knew as soon as we announced these massive changes that we were going to be dealing with a social media firestorm from our regular male viewers,” said White. “but we also know that in the end, the men will still have their fights, and now the women can have theirs – and never the two shall meet.”

So far there has been no announcement to any card lineup for upcoming fights, although the UFC did announce that the first official UFNC pay-per-view would be held in May. No word currently on whether UFC will eventually spin their women’s MMA division intonude fights, but men everywhere are holding their breath in anticipation.

Headlines, News

Was Ravens Wide Receiver Deonte Thompson Arrested After Climbing On SUV Naked?

March 27, 2014 IamShado 6 Comments

BALTIMORE, MD—

*UPDATE*
This article has been updated with new information (3/31/14)

Fans of Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Deonte Thompson got the opportunity to see him in all of his glory on Wednesday evening, or so they thought.

A man who looked to be Deonte Thompson was arrested after climbing on top of a an SUV, removing all of his clothing then taunting police officers as they tried to talk him down. Police believe he was likely high on PCP at the time.

To make things even worse, the SUV on which he stood contained a family including several small children. The driver of that SUV, Jose Goldsmith of Baltimore, was heard yelling from his car, “Yo man, I got kids in here!” as the man stood naked above them.

The man stopped traffic and and yelled as passers-by for nearly 15 minutes before police were able to subdue him.

In February the actual Deonte Thompson was arrested for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. Police did not release the name of the man arrested in this recent incident so rumors have continue to swirl that the man could have actually been Thompson himself Several people within the Thompson camp have refuted this claim and we have found no evidence of new arrest records.

Thompson played at Florida and was signed by the Ravens as an undrafted free agent in 2012. This has come at possibly the worst time for the Ravens as they are still trying to decide what to do with running back Ray Rice who was arrested for assault just last month.

Headlines, News, NFL

Kansas City Chiefs Make History; Sign First Female Player In NFL

March 5, 2014 jlsumme Leave a comment

KANSAS CITY, MO-

The KC Chiefs, in need for an explosive WR, signed Jackie Chamoun to a one year contact today, making her the first female NFL player ever. Terms were not disclosed but inside info confirms that she will have to wear a complete break-away jersey and modified pads. She will most likely be used as a possession receiver. She has fairly good speed running the 40 at 4.45 hand timed. “She will be a magnet running the underneath routes getting alot of attention.”- Clark Hunt.

We noticed today that she has decent route skills and a knack for the ball, great hands with nice nails. In a pick route during practice she accidentally sent one CB to the hospital with a scratched cornea. “She’s a tough chick, just wait and see.”-Larry Johnson.

We asked many defensive players how intense the tackling would be and most said they would just go for the jersey strip even if it gave up a TD. The second most popular response was that they would go easy and lay with her on the turf cuddling until the ref’s intervened.

“The Chiefs are testing new ground in the NFL, a new idea and a great way to increase viewership.” “If this goes well and we get a few jersey strips, we will see more women in the NFL.”- Len Dawson. Of course if this does work the games will have an “R” rating. Special “boob-zoom” cameras are being tested as we speak.

The “NFFL” (National Female Football League) has already cried foul! They have been in negotiations with the big three networks and will outfit all female players with the break-away jerseys and break-away pants. Their games will also be filmed with 15 “ultra-slow mo boob-zoom” and “super scan butt cams” with pause,reverse,fast forward,still; internet home viewing capabilities.

Jackie’s playing for the Chiefs may just be a little to late. The NFFL will no doubt put the NFL out of business.

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Topless Olympic Skier Jackie Chamoun To Be The Official Face Of The New Thunderbra

February 17, 2014 IamShado Leave a comment

Sochi, Black Sea –

Lissom blond 22 year-old
skier Jackie Chamoun has been offered a whopping $5 million contract as the official ‘face’ – ok, ok, tits! – of the new Agent Provocateur Thunderbra, ‘the brassiere that knocks the spots off the Wunderbra’ if the ad blurs are to be believed.

Ms Chamoun’s 34-DD stonkers caught Olympic officials on the hop after they just popped out of her ski suit during the Women’s Freestyle Downhill at the Russian Winter games this week.

“She certainly caught our imagination,” the head of Thunderbra product placement said today, “and what’s more, I’d personally be very happy to offer Ms. Chamoun a customized fitting to ensure she makes the best of both those cups.”

Chamoun went on to win five gold medals at the games, mostly in the Women’s Fully Clothed Downhill races, where she beat the pants off fellow contestants from Moldova, Eritrea and the British Virgin Islands.

Pictures of her naked bosom frosting of in the bleak Russian winter sunshine can be found on a website called ‘Google’.

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