COLLEGE STATION, TEXAS-
Johnny Manziel is no stranger to controversy, so news about his upcoming NFL draft party should not shock the masses. The kid has a knack for getting attention on the football field and off of it as well. The NFL network was informed this morning that Manziel would not be in attendance for the live draft show, since it conflicted with his draft party he is hosting in Texas. Needless to say, the NFL is, for lack of a better word, pissed. Roger Goodell better get him some Valium in preparation for the next few years that he is going to be dealing with J-Football.
The NFL network has never had such a high profile draftee just snub the draft event. Most players spend a sack full of cash to buy a suit to make sure they look their best while walking on stage to start their new status as millionaire ballers. Evidently all that pomp and circumstance is not that important to Manziel. According to his publicist, whom he may or may not be sleeping with on occasion, Manziel feels like he needs to be at his own draft party more than the official draft TV set. “Johnny knows he will be drafted in the top ten and maybe even go #1 if the Texans have any balls at all. So his time will be much better spent entertaining guests at his party. It is going to be epic,” his publicist told us. She went on for a good twenty minutes about the live bands scheduled to appear and she was really excited about the other live entertainment, which included dolphins and pornstars. Epic indeed.
The NFL network may be upset with the Texas A&M legend but ESPN is very happy with the young QB. The party is going to be covered live on ESPN 2 and the network believes its coverage will take some ratings away from the NFL’s live draft show. “NFL fans do love the live draft, but after a few picks it gets a little mundane. We feel like the American public will be easily pulled away from the draft once we promote Manziel’s party, which will include potential sex, violence, and rain making activities,” John Anderson of Sportcenter told us. Anderson knows quite a bit about getting good TV ratings for degenerate content, as he has hosted ABC’s Wipeout for a few years now.
Sources tell us that Roger Goodell is trying to get Manziel suspended for six games to start 2014, because of this disrespectful act. He is looking for a loophole in the “conduct detrimental to the league” rule to get back at Manziel. If the dictator of the NFL succeeds, Manziel could drop out of the top 10 in the draft. Teams do not need to start the year off with a suspended QB. In response to this threat of a suspension, Manziel’s lawyer released a statement that said simply, “Let the old man try a suspension, we got money too. As a matter of fact Mr. Manziel may just blow off training camp….just for the hell of it.”
The haters have had a good time banging on former Louisville quarterback, Teddy Bridgewater, for his pre draft decline. Bridgewater was being hailed as possibly the number one overall pick for 2014. But he has done a bad job of keeping that possibility a reality. Deciding not to throw at the NFL combine was a sign that something could be wrong with the guy. Or it is possible he and his people thought that too much emphasis was placed on being able to pass the ball effectively. I mean, how important could a quarterback’s throwing ability be when it comes to evaluating a guy. For good measure, Teddy decided the night before the combine, that displaying any running talent would not be appropriate either. I’m not really sure why he bothered showing up to the combine.
Bridgewater then took it down even a notch further when he displayed his skills at Louisville’s pro day. I saw some lowlights of that performance and either they used soccer players as the receivers or Bridgewater is not very good. In a pristine environment with no pass rush or defenders at all, a QB should not have that many balls hitting the turf.
Luckily for Bridgewater, he has some sharp people around him to get his draft status back toward the top of the order. Yesterday his representatives released a highlight video to get things back on track. They hope the video will erase all the doubts that have popped up with the “non-combine” and amateur-like pro day that Bridgewater embarrassed himself with. We watched the video ourselves, but were left a bit befuddled, as it was only 1.5 seconds long. We thought there was a glitch with the online video service, but over and over we watched, and it was just 1.5 seconds of Teddy holding a football while smiling. He looked fit, well groomed, and had a perfect smile, but there was no talent or skills on display. We inquired about the point of this short clip with the QB’s reps and they simply said, “the video speaks for itself”. After I thought about it, I had to agree. One and a half seconds was plenty of time to show off Bridgewater’s talents.
LOUISVILLE, KY — Last year Lauren Silberman made history as she became the first female participant in an NFL-sponsored tryout. Today, we have reports that we may see the first female to play in the NFL and that female will likely be drafted in the first round of the upcoming NFL draft.
Tamika Bridgewater, AKA Teddy Bridgewater, underwent a successful gender reassignment surgery today at the Philadelphia Center for Transgender Surgery.
Bridgewater, once considered the top pick in the upcoming draft, had seen his draft stock falling steadily in the last few weeks . There’s speculation among experts that Bridgewater’s draft stock could actually improve now as many NFL General Managers fear backlash from women’s rights groups if they pass on Bridgewater simply because of his new gender.
Bridgewater released a statement earlier this morning stating, “This is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. Since I was a kid I’ve felt like a woman trapped in a man’s body.”
We spoke with Dr. Sherman Leis, who performed the surgery, just hours after the surgery and he confirmed that the surgery was a success stating, “The surgery went very smoothly. The only balls Teddy, er Tamika, will be carrying now will be footballs.”
Fellow players and celebrities have hit to Twitter to share their feeling: