Tag Archives: nfl

Aaron Hernandez Escapes From Prison During Routine Hospital Trip

Bristol County, Massachusetts – Empire-Sports-Aaron-Hernandez-Breaks-Out-Of-Prison-During-Hospital-Trip

Ex-tight end and current felon Aaron Hernandez is on the run from the law, after managing to get past a prison guard while checked into a a local Massachusetts hospital earlier this week. Hernandez held a good spot on the New England Patriots before being charged with murder. He steadfastly proclaimed his innocence during the investigation, but with so much evidence pointing to the contrary, the jury found him guilty.

It has been reported that Hernandez was complaining about stomach pains for months and begged security guards to take him to an actual hospital off prison grounds. After several weeks of hearing Hernandez cry in pain, they set up a date to visit a local hospital by the prison for a routine check up.

While in the hospital Hernandez made his move and escaped the officers on the scene. Still on the loose, police are baffled to where he could be and how this even happened.

“From my knowledge there was four officers watching him and he was cuffed to the bed. I don’t know how this happened” said the chief of Bristol County, Joseph Goldsmith.

News of Hernandez being free has brought shock to people, but excitement for some die-hard Patriots fans.

“I hope he is smart and gets some plastic surgery for his face. He could come back and play as someone completely different. We need him on the field, not in prison.” Said Archie Sellers, a die-hard Patriots fan.

Reluctantly, the guard in charge of watching Hernandez during the hospital visit admitted what had actually happened, and how Hernandez was able to escape.

“We were in a hospital not a prison, there was no bars to hold him back. He came at me fast did a studded step, then a swim move, and finished me with a stiff arm. He is fast as hell and looked like he was running for a hail mary pass as he flew out those hospital doors. By the time I got outside he was gone, nowhere to be seen.” Said the guard.

Anyone with information on Hernandez’s whereabouts are encourage to contact their local police department.

 

Stephen Colbert Injured In Airport By Marshawn Lynch

empire-sports-stephen-colbert-marshawn-lynch-injured-airportLOS ANGELES– One of America’s favorite comedic political figures was injured at LAX on Saturday, when Stephen Colbert was knocked down by Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch. The beloved host of “The Colbert Report” tore his groin muscle due to the incident, which by all reports was accidental. According to eye witnesses, Lynch was a in a big hurry as he sprinted through the terminal, when he suddenly cut back to his right. That is when he ran right over Colbert, and never even slowed down. “Lynch headed to a snack shop and grabbed up like seven bags of Skittles,” Becky Lewis, a fellow traveler, told us via Skype. He got his candy and went right back to his run toward his plane. I guess he was running late, but I hate to see that poor comedian get bowled over like that.

Colbert is recovering nicely at his home in New Jersey and will miss no time on his highly rated Comedy Central show. We were only able to do a text message interview with Colbert as he is quite busy. “I am going to be fine and I have no hard feelings against Marshawn Lynch. I do have a problem with these Skittles however. If they can cause a grown man, an athlete at that, to go berserk and crash into people just to get to the sugary treats, we have a problem. With my nation of worshipers, we are going to boycott the candy until they go belly up. We live in an age of truthiness, and we are going to let the truth be known about this addictive treat,” Colbert told us. The comedian said that he believes the Skittles are the next thing to Meth and cannot believe they remain legal, much less over the counter. He also stated that he has done a bit of research since his groin injury and found out that Skittles were used in some nuclear testing in 1952. He declined to elaborate, but said that he would release more information in the coming days as the boycott gets rolling.

Lynch heard about the incident, which he never even noticed, as his lust for Skittles temporarily numbed him to outside stimulus, like running over a comedian. The running back went to Twitter to apologize to Colbert then threaten him moments later. “Sorry bout the beast mode trucking I accidently put on u dude.” “Best drop this boycott of Skittles tho bro. Messin w/ wrong candy,” tweeted Lynch. We will monitor this situation and see what occurs over the next week. We can only hope for some reconciliation between the two parties and the candy in question.

Kellog’s Releasing Cereals Featuring Branded Sports Teams

BATTLE CREEK, Michigan – empire-sports-kellogs-releasing-sports-team-cereals-mascots-breakfast-bars-kellog

When it comes to sports related cereals, General Mills’  Wheaties cereal has always been the #1 contender. They have been putting sports teams and individual sports stars on their boxes for generations. The Kellog company is looking to change the face of the sports-food world though, as this morning they announced a new line of cereal and breakfast bars featuring branded sports teams.

Kellog’s has said they are hoping to finally steal the spotlight away from General Mills and their Wheaties cereal, turning kids on to something “more fun” to eat and “with way more taste.”

“We don’t believe that the cereal you are eating should taste like the box it comes in, and that’s why were are creating this new line of sports-releated cereals and breakfast bars.” Said James Jenness, chairman of the Kellog Company. “We know there are other cereals out there making money off sports stars, Olympians, and certain teams, and they’ve created a monopoly on it. We’re tired of it. We want our cereals to be great tasting, fun to eat, but also to have great sports heroes on every box for the kids to look up to and learn about.”

Jenness says that the boxes of the cereals and bars will all have branded sports teams covering all major sports leagues, including BOSOX-Os (Boston Red Sox, MLB), MAPLE LEAF MUNCHIES (Toronto Maple Leafs, NHL), PACKER POWER BARS (Green Bay Packers, NFL), and WORLD SERIES WONDER PUFFS (New York Yankees, MLB), to name a few. So far, most of the major teams in each sport have signed off on use of logos and player likenesses.

Each box will contain sports stats on the team and history of some their most famous players. Also on each box will be a QR code that can be scanned with any smartphone which will take you to a Kellog’s website with even more information on the team, options for purchasing apparel, tickets to upcoming games, and coupons for use on future purchases of other cereals in the new sports line, dubbed K-Teams.

“We wanted to take breakfast and jazz it up, and we really feel we’ve accomplished something great with K-Teams. I’m really excited for everyone to be able to try these new cereals and bars. They’re really great. Collect them all!” said Jenness.

The entire K-Teams line of cereals and bars are scheduled to be released in the fall of this year.

Washington Changes Name From Redskins To Natives

Washington, D.C. – empire-sports-washington-redskins-change-name-to-natives-racism

Washington, D.C. NFL team the Redskins have always had one of the most controversial team names in sports history. There have been the people who support it, and the people who hate it. The positive was that the name tries to give honor to the people whose ancestors were settled here first. The negative is that the name is ridiculously offensive, using a derogatory slang term for an entire race of people as a sports team. It is because of this division amongst fans that Washington has decided to unveil a new name that they hope will bring the two sides together. The franchise owners have decided to change the name from Redskins to Natives.

“We did not think we could ever find a name that would allow us to part with the name Redskins.” Said Dan Snyder, majority owner of the team.  “Then one day the name Natives popped into my head, and I knew it would work. It was brilliant. The new name will even allow us to keep the same logo. It is only the moniker that is changing. Because we understand this is a big change for fans, we will be working on a date and time where anyone who recently purchased Redskins gear can exchange it with us for Natives merchandise of equal or lessar value. We take care of our fans. Go Natives!”

The team name change will take effect starting in the 2015 season. If you do happen to have any Redskins merchandise, you may want to hold onto it for now. It’s very possible that with many people making exchanges on merchandise, Redskins memorabilia could become rare and skyrocket in price. If you are looking to exchange it, check the official Natives website for dates and times of exchange.

New NFL Rule Makes It A Penalty To Touch Quarterback

empire-sports-no-hitting-qb-nfl-ruleDENVER, Colorado–

The NFL has taken on a wide new series of rules, and regulations to provide the safest game for their players. Even using new technology to create better equipment to provide a safer game has been going on for the past few years. With the new rules we have witnessed flags for hits that use to be okay, and people getting fined for playing the way they were taught how to play.

With the concussion controversy it was clear that at some point the National Football League would take the step in this direction. Starting the 2014 season it will be a 15 yard penalty and possible ejection if a defense player even touches the opposing quarterback.

The rule was put into place to protect franchise QBs from getting hurt and not being able to play. The officials have decided that a hurt QB can end a season for a team, and owners felt that losing a high salary player would be a tremendous waste of team money.

The new rule will be called “Touching the Passer” and even the slightest bit of contact will draw a flag. Classes have already begun in Denver, Colorado for NFL referees to learn what is okay, and not okay when dealing with touching the passer.

“Basically you can’t even touch the QB, your only hope is to chase him out of bounds” said an NFL ref.

“Once the QB is being pursued he has to either throw the ball or take a slid. I’m not positive how many QBs will take advantage of this new rule, and just run for 80 yards, but I feel like it will be a lot”

The rule has been sent to each team in the NFL, and certain teams are already tuning up their play books, a lot of quarterback keeps may be in our future.

 

Denver Broncos Cornerback Marquice Cole Overdoses on Marijuana

DENVER, Colorado –

empire-sports-marquice-cole-marijuana-weed-overdose-denver-broncos-coloradoControversy arose today in Denver, Colorado, as NFL Cornerback Marquice Cole of the Broncos became yet another  documented case of overdose on the recently legalized drug marijuana.

Marijuana, commonly known by its street name “weed,” was made legal in the state of Colorado in 2012 when Colorado Amendment 64 was passed through the state legislature. On January 1st, 2014, the first legal “weed shops” were opened through the state to much controversy. Since then, several people throughout the state have overdosed from smoking large amounts of the drug, and there are at least 2 confirmed deaths in relation to smoking, and even  eating, marijuana.

The Amendment in Colorado allows for any person over the age of 21 to have and grow up to 6 “pot plants” at any given time, as well as to use it recreationally themselves, or give it away to someone else over the age of 21. It is similarly regulated as alcohol, but slightly more so – it is not legal to consume in public, although it is fined and ticketed in the same way when driving under the influence of marijuana as it would be for alcohol.

Cole has stated that he was not a user before the law was passed, but as soon as it became legal and easy to get, it was all he was doing in his off time.

“It’s hard, when you’ve got as much money as us pro-athletes do, not to spend that cash somewhat…unwisely, at certain points.” Said Cole from his hospital room in Benchley Memorial Hospital, just outside Denver. “I bought cars and normal things, but as soon as weed became legal, and people were doing it all the time around me, I started spending my money there. It was crazy how much I was buying.”

Cole stated that a friend first offered him marijuana, and he instantly became hooked, a claim that most people who try weed have reported. Cole started visiting multiple dispensaries throughout the day to buy as much as he could, purchasing the legal limit at each shop, as well as spending money on “how-to” books, and materials needed to grow in his own home. He claims that before he overdosed, he was smoking upwards of a pound or more in a day.

There is a common public misconception that you cannot overdose on marijuana, but as many doctors and specialists are quick to point out, that claim is invalid, as evident here with Cole.

“It’s sad, really, that people think you can’t get ‘too high.’ That you can’t overdose. It can happen if you’re smoking enough.” Said Dr. Emmett Brown, who is specialist at Benchley Memorial dealing with drug addictions and overdose cases. “Usually we see cocaine or heroin abuse amongst athletes and celebrities, but there is no doubt that someday the puff-puff-pass could make you end up in the ER.”

“If I had it all to do over again, I would probably cut back a bit.” Says Cole, who is expected to recover from his overdose, albeit with several weeks of physical therapy. “This might have ruined my life. It might have ended my life. It certainly will be putting a huge damper on my career.”

So far, there has been no movement by the Colorado government to repeal the law, despite mounting pressures from activists and anti-marijuana crusaders throughout the state, as well as the rest of the country. Cole himself hopes that his ordeal will make people think twice before getting hooked on marijuana.

“It’s dangerous. It’s addicting. It almost killed me,” said Cole in an impassioned speech to reporters and fans. “I wish I’d never tried it…[and] to any kids out there, just know, that no matter what they say, a drug is a drug – and it can ruin everything.”

As of this writing, no word on whether Cole will face any suspensions or penalties from the NFL

Houston Texans Draft Choice Leaked, Will Take Clowney #1 Overall

HOUSTON, Texas – empire-sports-houston-texans-clowney-draft-pick

The Houston Texans had been been very quiet about their #1 overall pick for the NFL Draft, happening in just a few short days, up until a front office leak earlier this morning accidentally revealed their choice as Jadeveon Clowney. The NFL and The Houston Texans are both furious about this leak coming out and ruining the “surprise” factor of the pick. While I am not sure if there was any real surprise considering Clowney has been easily the #1 player in the draft all year. The only thing people are unsure of is his fit into a 3-4 defense.

It is unknown at this time just who gave up this information but the Houston Texans have told us they are investigating it and the NFL will fine that person a hefty price for this. Most people expected Clowney to go #1 it was all a matter of which team gets him there. Houston entertained ideas of trading down but decided to just take the South Carolina GameCock for themselves. With Watt on one side and potentially Clowney on the other can Houston get back to a winning season like they were just a few seasons ago.

Now that Clowney and Watt are together will this mean Clowney is a sure fire All Pro in the coming seasons? Or doesnt end up being a bust because of his poor work ethic and end up a backup on 8 different teams in his career? There is no way to tell but you know JJ Watt will keep him in line and make him work to be on the same field as him.

Update: There is still no official word on the leak but the NFL is rumored to have found a potential clue that can lead them to the person who gave up this information. Not sure what the point or problem is when Houston owned #1 anyway, but the NFL is at least doing its job and looking into a matter that could have been serious in the right circumstances.

 

Follow me on twitter @Iruleall15

Johnny Manziel Planning To Skip NFL Draft To Host Huge Draft Party

empire-sports-johnny-manziel-skips-nfl-draft-party-nycCOLLEGE STATION, TEXAS-

Johnny Manziel is no stranger to controversy, so news about his upcoming NFL draft party should not shock the masses. The kid has a knack for getting attention on the football field and off of it as well. The NFL network was informed this morning that Manziel would not be in attendance for the live draft show, since it conflicted with his draft party he is hosting in Texas. Needless to say, the NFL is, for lack of a better word, pissed. Roger Goodell better get him some Valium in preparation for the next few years that he is going to be dealing with J-Football.

The NFL network has never had such a high profile draftee just snub the draft event. Most players spend a sack full of cash to buy a suit to make sure they look their best while walking on stage to start their new status as millionaire ballers. Evidently all that pomp and circumstance is not that important to Manziel. According to his publicist, whom he may or may not be sleeping with on occasion, Manziel feels like he needs to be at his own draft party more than the official draft TV set. “Johnny knows he will be drafted in the top ten and maybe even go #1 if the Texans have any balls at all. So his time will be much better spent entertaining guests at his party. It is going to be epic,” his publicist told us. She went on for a good twenty minutes about the live bands scheduled to appear and she was really excited about the other live entertainment, which included dolphins and pornstars. Epic indeed.

The NFL network may be upset with the Texas A&M legend but ESPN is very happy with the young QB. The party is going to be covered live on ESPN 2 and the network believes its coverage will take some ratings away from the NFL’s live draft show. “NFL fans do love the live draft, but after a few picks it gets a little mundane. We feel like the American public will be easily pulled away from the draft once we promote Manziel’s party, which will include potential sex, violence, and rain making activities,” John Anderson of Sportcenter told us. Anderson knows quite a bit about getting good TV ratings for degenerate content, as he has hosted ABC’s Wipeout for a few years now.

Sources tell us that Roger Goodell is trying to get Manziel suspended for six games to start 2014, because of this disrespectful act. He is looking for a loophole in the “conduct detrimental to the league” rule to get back at Manziel. If the dictator of the NFL succeeds, Manziel could drop out of the top 10 in the draft. Teams do not need to start the year off with a suspended QB. In response to this threat of a suspension, Manziel’s lawyer released a statement that said simply, “Let the old man try a suspension, we got money too. As a matter of fact Mr. Manziel may just blow off training camp….just for the hell of it.”

Herschel Walker Returns To NFL, Signs With Cowboys

Arlington- TX  t1larg.herschel.walker

 

Herschel Walkers NFL return has already been successful as he has just signed again with the Dallas Cowboys. Walker aged 52 claimed he could still be a productive NFL Running Back even at his age. But maybe this isnt so odd as Walker has been successful boasting a 2-0 record in MMA in his late 40’s. Despite being unproductive later in his NFL career can Walker regain his old form and be an elite NFL player again?

 

Walker is known primarily for being part of the greatest trade in NFL history which led to the Triplets coming to shape in Dallas and 3 SuperBowls also. But lets look at the numbers of Walker in his “prime”. Walker only broke 1,000 yards 2 times in his NFL career. Having not even 10,000 career rushing yards with just under 2,000 carries and 4.2 yard per carry average. Unless Walker is in greater shape now than before I highly doubt he could even survive a hit let alone be an actually good player at his position.

 

Walker is on his 3rd stint with Dallas but sitting behind Murray maybe can help Walker not have to be such a big part on offense.  This upcoming training camp will be a very interesting for the Cowboys. A 52 year old Running Back  and potentially Johnny Manziel, this will be a circus all year and we look forward to seeing this unfold and blow up in Jerry Jones face. But maybe Jerry knows what he is doing. After all he said himself he is doing a great job. Ill just take his word for it.

NFL To Take After NHL Hockey, Starting Use of “Penalty Box”

NEW YORK, New York – 

In a shocking move today, the NFL announced that the 2015 season will incorporate a “penalty box” for players who are flagged for fighting or other infractions during gameplay. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced the change to a group of players, coaches, and sports writers in a closed conference Monday morning.

“As all fans of the NFL and football in general know, we are the laughingstock of the sports world. For years we have tried to portray ourselves as hardcore athletes, the best of the best, all the while knowing that our players generally don’t have to run for more than 20 feet at a time, and that plays usually don’t last for more than 45 seconds before action is stopped, and the players stand around doing nothing.” Goodell said, with signs of tears forming. “Our boys play anywhere from 17 to 19 times a year, and that’s it. We need to toughen them up. So it is with this in mind, that we have instituted some changes to our calendars, and to our policies.”

Goodell went on to explain that fighting would now be just a short, 5-minute stint in the penalty box, and it would be encouraged by coaches during gameplay.

“We know that the NHL leads the way in real tough-guy sports. They fight, they punch, they’ve even stabbed each other with their skates – and all they get is a couple minutes in a box. A box where they can gloat and cheer and get the fans behind them. That’s what we need in the NFL. Understandably, this is a big change from our current standing on the matter, where a player who fights on the field could be fined hundreds of thousands of dollars and possibly even fired. But damnit, this is the NFL, and we’re supposed to be MEN here!” Goodall bellowed to those in attendance.

He continued by saying that all stadiums were going to be required to build boxes on either side of the field, in a 7’x7′ area. The box is to be encased in plexiglass, and players should definitely punch, headbutt, and bang on it as often as possible when sent to the box during a game.

Players commented after the conference, stating that it was a great idea and a nice change to the game.

“It’s about time this sport toughened up a bit. This is definitely going to make this game more of the bloodsport that it always portrayed itself as, but could never really be because of stupid rules,” said a player for the Denver Broncos who wished to remain anonymous. “I can’t wait to get out there and crack some freakin’ heads.”

The new changes also included a much larger calendar for the seasons, which will now begin in August and end in March, with each team playing at least 5 times a week, for a total of 150 games per team, not including post-season games.

During the questioning period after the announcement, Goodell was asked about the possibility of these new rule and schedule changes increasing the already terrifying statistics of brain injury and concussions associated with professional football.

“Yeah, probably,” he said. “But damn if it won’t be a better game to watch now, huh?”