Tag Archives: mlb

Kellog’s Releasing Cereals Featuring Branded Sports Teams

May 31, 2014 whoisgrimm Leave a comment

BATTLE CREEK, Michigan –

When it comes to sports related cereals, General Mills’ Wheaties cereal has always been the #1 contender. They have been putting sports teams and individual sports stars on their boxes for generations. The Kellog company is looking to change the face of the sports-food world though, as this morning they announced a new line of cereal and breakfast bars featuring branded sports teams.

Kellog’s has said they are hoping to finally steal the spotlight away from General Mills and their Wheaties cereal, turning kids on to something “more fun” to eat and “with way more taste.”

“We don’t believe that the cereal you are eating should taste like the box it comes in, and that’s why were are creating this new line of sports-releated cereals and breakfast bars.” Said James Jenness, chairman of the Kellog Company. “We know there are other cereals out there making money off sports stars, Olympians, and certain teams, and they’ve created a monopoly on it. We’re tired of it. We want our cereals to be great tasting, fun to eat, but also to have great sports heroes on every box for the kids to look up to and learn about.”

Jenness says that the boxes of the cereals and bars will all have branded sports teams covering all major sports leagues, including BOSOX-Os (Boston Red Sox, MLB), MAPLE LEAF MUNCHIES (Toronto Maple Leafs, NHL), PACKER POWER BARS (Green Bay Packers, NFL), and WORLD SERIES WONDER PUFFS (New York Yankees, MLB), to name a few. So far, most of the major teams in each sport have signed off on use of logos and player likenesses.

Each box will contain sports stats on the team and history of some their most famous players. Also on each box will be a QR code that can be scanned with any smartphone which will take you to a Kellog’s website with even more information on the team, options for purchasing apparel, tickets to upcoming games, and coupons for use on future purchases of other cereals in the new sports line, dubbed K-Teams.

“We wanted to take breakfast and jazz it up, and we really feel we’ve accomplished something great with K-Teams. I’m really excited for everyone to be able to try these new cereals and bars. They’re really great. Collect them all!” said Jenness.

The entire K-Teams line of cereals and bars are scheduled to be released in the fall of this year.

MLB, News

Josh Beckett Caught Cheating After Pitching No Hitter for LA Dodgers

May 27, 2014 tony23 Leave a comment

LOS ANGELES, California –

Josh Beckett threw baseball’s first no-hitter of the season earlier this week, but later tested positive for possible HGH use during a routine drug check. Many suspect he could be a part of the Anthony Bosch Miami Clinic scandal. Beckett previously played for the Boston Red Sox, and prior to that he was a pitcher for the once Florida Marlins, which is what has lead to the tie to Anthony Bosch. Bosch was caught in a controversy a few years ago after several MLB players were caught and released for receiving HGH and other steroids and drugs at Bosch’s bio-genesis clinic in South Florida.

MLB officials, faced with another possible steroid/cheating scandal, have decided to test every player that has ever been a part of the Marlins organization, including current rosters. With this search they hope to stop the use of HGH, as well as other forms of cheating in baseball. The only exception, of course, being the New York Yankees, who are always privy to 2nd chances when it comes to cheating and rule breaking.

As of the time of this writing, Beckett had not commented on the accusation, except to say that it was completely false. Agents for Beckett and the LA Dodgers also had no comment. There is speculation that other members of the Dodgers could also be using HGH or other steroids, and the commissioner of baseball has said that it is possible that there may be a team-wide or even league-wide testing of all players and staff, including umpires, coaches, and even batboys.

Headlines, MLB, News, Uncategorized

Warner Bros. Interactive To Release Mortal Kombat Vs. MLB Video Game

May 23, 2014 whoisgrimm Leave a comment

BURBANK, California –

The action fighting series Mortal Kombat has grown to become one of the biggest video game series ever since it was released to arcades for the first time 22 years ago, but the newest installment in the series, which was announced yesterday, is probably the craziest idea yet – Mortal Kombat Vs. The Major League is set to debut at the beginning of next year.

The official word came from the headquarters of Warner Bros. Interactive, the publishing company that took over for Midway Games in the production of the Mortal Kombat series back in 2009. In an email sent to video game magazines and online publications, Ed Boon, original co-creator of the Mortal Kombat series, announced that his subdivision, NetherRealm Studios, had secured licensing from Major League Baseball for a roster of around 20 different players from several different teams to be included in the gameplay.

“We are extremely excited to announce that we are in the beginning stages of production for our new game Mortal Kombat Vs. The Major League.” Said Boon. “We at NetherRealm are extremely excited, as this is something we had been working towards with the League for several years, and as the licenses and agreements fell into place, everything started happening immediately. We are tentatively scheduling release for early spring, 2015.”

Mortal Kombat has a long history of being extremely violent, causing controversy upon its initial release with its inclusion of graphic blood, realistic depictions of violence, and the creation of the “fatalities” that fans have come to love over time. When asked via email about whether this game was going to be a more “toned down” version, as some of the later Mortal Kombat games have been, Boon stated that there would be no holding back with this new game.

“We had to tone down some of the elements of violence for some of our later games and partnerships, such as Mortal Kombat Vs. The DC Universe. That was part of our agreement with DC, which wanted to be able to market the game towards children. The MLB has not imparted any restrictions on us in the use of their players or teams, so we’re aiming to make this one of the most brutal Mortal Kombat games to date.”

So far, there has been no official word on which teams or players might make it into the game, but as word got out to players, several have stepped up to offer their likenesses.

“It would be a dream come true to be in a Mortal Kombat video game.” Said Dustin Pedroia, second baseman for the Boston Red Sox. “I grew up on Mortal Kombat, like most boys my age. It would be a honor to face off against Scorpion.”

Warner Bros. Interactive will be watching the sales of this game closely, as Boon pointed out, because the numbers will directly correlate to whether or not they seek out licensing deals with other major sports clubs.

“Oh, definitely – we would love to make this into a series if it does well. NHL, NFL…really, the sky is the limit for what we can do with these characters.” Said Boon. “This is going to be the most fun game of the MK Universe so far. I can’t wait for everyone to play it.”

The game is being announced for the XBox 360 and PS3, as well as next-gen consoles XBox One and PS4.

MLB, News

MLB To Allow Players To Run Bases While Holding Bat

April 23, 2014 whoisgrimm Leave a comment

NEW YORK CITY, New York –

During a press conference this morning, commissioner of Major League Baseball Bud Selig announced another major change to the rules of play in professional baseball. This new announcement comes only weeks after the change to the home-plate collision rule, which makes it against the rules for catchers to block the path of a base-runner sliding into home plate.

The new rule, as Selig explained it, will allow all players to carry their bats with them to each base as they run. The change is being made to further the excitement among fans as players inevitably slide into bases and “accidentally” beat the hell out of the baseman.

“It’s a great change for all players, but it’s an even better change for people watching at home and in the stands. We know those 9 innings can sometimes be a nightmare where nothing at all happens. It’s even worse if the games go long. This change will make every base hit a nail-biter!” Said Selig.

Selig, who has been commissioner of baseball since 1992, reportedly came up with the idea while watching the 1990 film Problem Child starring John Ritter. In the film, a man adopts an unruly child, who in one scene hits a ground ball and immediately runs to each base while holding the bat, clubbing the other kids at each base as he goes.

“I saw that scene and I laughed so hard, and I knew that the fans of MLB would laugh, too. Every time Mark Teixeira takes a nut-shot with a Louisville Slugger they’ll hoot and holler. The rule had to happen.”

Selig said he also thought of changing the name of the “home-run” to a “touchdown,” which is what the boy from Problem Child began chanting after making it around the bases in the film. “I knew that the NFL would never allow us to steal their phrase, though.” said Selig. There is no word whether this new rule supersedes the recent home-plate collision rule.

Players are apparently divided on the new rule, with some actually talking about quitting the game all together.

“I never wanted to have to worry about getting smacked in the jimmies with a baseball bat,” said Derek Jeter, shortstop for the New York Yankees. “It’s bad enough that I have to worry about balls flying at my face. Now I have to worry about long, hard wood, too? It’s just too much for a pretty man like me to have to deal with.”

Neither Selig nor any representative for MLB could be reached at the time of this writing for comment.

Headlines, MLB, News

Alex Rodriguez Demanding More Money

April 9, 2014 JP Leave a comment

NEW YORK—

The Yankees have been through a lot these last past years, and we may be seeing some what of a drought from the historic franchise. With Rivera retired, and Jeter on his way out, these two main faces of the Yankees will hope that their team will keep the legacy going, and continue to win World Series.

With a roster getting more and more slim the Yankees really need to focus on getting the veteran players into more of a leadership mode. They need to rely on some of the more experienced players to take the younger guys under their win, and make sure they help mold the future of the team.

One hard hitting Yankee that isn’t giving the best impression is Alex Rodriguez. Rodriquez spent most of his time on the bench last year due to things so sneaky, we can get sued if we even mention them. The kicker to the case is the fact that Rodriquez is requesting a pay raise even though he will be likely to stay right where he was last year..in the dugout.

“You know most people think it’s hard to hit homeruns in a clutch spot, or make a diving play with 2 outs, and the bases loaded. I’ve learned from sitting out the true test of a baseball player is sitting out for games.”

We asked if this was because you have to watch your team play, and the anxiety of you wanting to be on the field is killing you mentally?

“Not at all, its tough in the dugout, sometimes my legs fall asleep for sitting to long. Also, if it is a day game sunlight can poke through and hit me right in the eyes. It’s frustrating, and this is why I’ve decided to ask for a pay raise.”

Rodriquez will receive the entire budget the Yankees have to pay their players, while the rest of team will be paid in hotdogs, and A Rod bobble heads.

Headlines, MLB, News

Colorado Rockies Baseball Team To Sell Marijuana Brownies At Their Concession Stands

February 28, 2014 IamShado 7 Comments

DENVER, COLORADO –

With the new laws in effect in Colorado, major sports organizations are looking for ways to cash in on the newest legal cash crop in the state.

Sources are reporting that Major League Baseball’s Colorado Rockies plan to sell food items which contain marijuana at concession stands during games next season.

The first item on the list? Pot Brownies.

An official within the Rockies organization stated that the Rockies organization has given the green light to concession stands selling marijuana brownies.

High ranking officials in the Rockies organization say they are thrilled at the new menu item since they note that it will bring in tens of thousands of dollars per month.

The Rockies head office is hoping that the sale of marijuana brownies will also boost sales of other concession items. What better way to sell concessions that to give everyone in the stadium the munchies?

SIDENOTE: An inside source with the organization said that it appears that the strain of marijuana that will be used in the making of the marijuana brownies will be Durango Bango which is considered to be the very best weed in the Rocky Mountain State.

MLB, News

Masahiro Tanaka Signs With Yankees, Thanks Performance Enhancing Drugs

January 27, 2014 tony23 Leave a comment

Today Japanese phenom Masahiro Tanaka was introduced to the New York Yankees. Tanaka who dominated the Japanese league with the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles. Tanaka’s numbers were as follows:

-24-0 Win-Loss record

-1.27 ERA

-183 strikeouts

-0.943 WHIP

Only logical explanation for this, PEDs.

Reporters asked Tanaka why he chose the Yankees, Tanaka responded saying “What kind of question is that? I chose the Yankees because they are offering me so much money to just throw a ball, anyways I will get hurt before the All Star game like every other overpaid Yankee so it is basically free money!” Reports wanted to ask Yankees GM Brian Cashman about the deal with Tanaka but he was unavailable at the time reporters heard him weeping in his office as he wrote the check to the future bust.

Reporters also questioned about the Alex Rodriguez scandal to Tanaka and if he was aware of the current situation. “A-Rod? Oh yeah that guy has more steroid connects than millions he gave me about 6 phone numbers but I already have my connect back home he was the the reason I improved so much.”

MLB

Kershaw says it is all about the money

January 25, 2014 Rudy Focker Leave a comment

It’s all about the money says Clayton Kershaw

Recently the Dodgers avoided arbitration with LHP Clayton Kershaw by agreeing to a seven-year, $215 million contract. At the press conference Kershaw stated that the most important factor in the new contract was the money. “Staying a Dodger, championship rings, fans and all that other stuff that guys sign for is nice but for me it was all about the money. I figure I can buy whoever else I need” stated Kershaw. Dodger ownership was also ecstatic with the deal locking up the young star for years. They didn’t seem concerned with the big payout stating a raise in ticket and concession prices will take care of everything and ensure that none of the money is coming out of their pocket.