MONTREAL, Canada – 

Football fans watching the Canadian Football League games starting in the 2015 season will see a few changes related to the field of play.

CFL officials are citing these changes as “improvements to the game,” and will start with a complete alteration to the size of the playing field – They will be introducing the world’s first and only metric football field. The customary 110-yard long field will change to 110-metres which is 120.2 yards. The 20-yard end zones increase to 21.8-yards (20-metres) and the field width will change from 65-yards to 71-yards (65-metres).

Other alterations coming to the CFL include a change in the color of the grass from green to magenta (hot pink), with the lines and markings on the field changing from white to brown. League officials claim the color changes will make the game easier to follow on live television and will not interfere with various forms of colorblindness.

“What a crock!” Stated a representative from the players union. “The changes have nothing to do with the fans. The league has been pissed off at players filing grievances during the off-season regarding the distance they run in an average game.”

CFL officials stick by their plan to make the game more fun for fans with vision problems, and explained it in a news release with the statement: “The Canadian Institute for the Blind has endorsed these enhancements and fully support the CFL in leading the way in addressing these issues.”

Former Toronto Argonaut running back Michael “Pinball” Clemons agrees with the CFL union, saying the white- on-green combination has always been the recognized standard in the world of football. “These horrible colors the league is trying to use do nothing more than ‘gay up’ the game. As for these distance changes, clearly the CFL does not want any more records set or broken.” Clemons currently holds a number of those records. “It is a sad day for football when you have to try to figure out where your 30-metre line seat is and why the players are on their fourth down with centimeters when they should be on fourth and inches.”

There has not been a statement made by the union representing the CFL officials, although Clemons speculates that “…The only blind ones on the field are the officials, and colors aren’t going to fix that.”