Somehow, despite Kobe’s massive new 2-year contract, the Lakers still have enough money to field a team of more than one player for next season.
An anonymous source has reported that New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony turned down an offer from Chicago in anticipation that he will sign with the Los Angeles Lakers this summer.
“It’s a done deal,” said the source, “we are just waiting on a few things to be worked out before the contract is signed.”
Carmelo, an offensive juggernaut who at one point led the NBA in shot attempts per game, will have to find a way to split attempts with Kobe Bryant and some other players that no one cares about.
In anticipation of Carmelo joining the team, Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni has requested a rule change to allow two balls to be used in a game at the same time in order to increase the odds that someone besides Kobe or Carmelo will get a shot.
Lakers Owner Jerry Buss has also begun negotiations with backers to secure funds which would allow them to increase the height of the roof at the Staples Center in order to contain the egos of both Kobe and Carmelo.
When asked how much higher the new roof would have to be, Buss commented, “I don’t know, 50-60 feet? Hell, we might have to take the damn thing off.”