Arlington, Texas—

Sometimes the sports world crosses over into weird places and tonight’s NCAA basketball championship game is a prime example. For some reason Coach John Calipari thinks the Wildcats need something extra before the tip-off of tonight’s big game. That “something extra” is going to be a pre-game talk from the cast of TLC’s ‘Honey Boo Boo’ reality show. I am in no position to question the best basketball coach in college athletics today, but I have no clue what the hell he is thinking.

Everything is going very good for Calipari’s Kentucky team right now. They are exceeding all expectations as a #8 seed that is in position to win the whole tournament. Any wrong move could derail this entire run they are on right now. Having a band of barely literate hillbillies come inside the team locker room to motivate the young players seems reckless at best. I know high profile pre-game speeches have been the cool thing to do recently, with teams having former athletes and celebrities come in and rev up the guys. Jim Harbaugh even had Nature Boy Ric Flair fire up the 49ers before their playoff game with the Panthers last season. That worked out well for San Fran, but the wrestler received a good many death threats from psycho Panther fans.

Apparently the pre-game speech is scheduled for 7:55 pm tonight. A team spokesperson stated that there needed to be plenty of time set aside for the translators to convey what the necks from Georgia had to say to the young Wildcat team. In case you are unfamiliar with the TV show, they do not need translators because they are from the Georgia south of Russia. They are from the Georgia that is south of Tennessee, but unfortunately are so marble-mouthed that subtitles are needed on the TV show each week. Therefore, translators were a necessity for this pep talk.

One side note to this wackiness, is the added security for the team locker room. Yes, there are plenty of hicks from Kentucky that would want an autograph from their reality TV heroes. But the show’s mom, June Boo Boo, is a threat to eat the entire team buffet, if not the team itself if given the chance. You can never be too careful when the basketball world collides with white trash phenoms.