Tag Archives: Jackie Chamoun

Kansas City Chiefs Make History; Sign First Female Player In NFL

Empire-sports-Jackie-Chamoun-nfl-kansas-city-chiefsKANSAS CITY, MO-

The KC Chiefs, in need for an explosive WR, signed Jackie Chamoun to a one year contact today, making her the first female NFL player ever. Terms were not disclosed but inside info confirms that she will have to wear a complete break-away jersey and modified pads. She will most likely be used as a possession receiver. She has fairly good speed running the 40 at 4.45 hand timed. “She will be a magnet running the underneath routes getting alot of attention.”- Clark Hunt.

We noticed today that she has decent route skills and a knack for the ball, great hands with nice nails. In a pick route during practice she accidentally sent one CB to the hospital with a scratched cornea. “She’s a tough chick, just wait and see.”-Larry Johnson.

We asked many defensive players how intense the tackling would be and most said they would just go for the jersey strip even if it gave up a TD. The second most popular response was that they would go easy and lay with her on the turf cuddling until the ref’s intervened.

“The Chiefs are testing new ground in the NFL, a new idea and a great way to increase viewership.” “If this goes well and we get a few jersey strips, we will see more women in the NFL.”- Len Dawson. Of course if this does work the games will have an “R” rating. Special “boob-zoom” cameras are being tested as we speak.

The “NFFL” (National Female Football League) has already cried foul! They have been in negotiations with the big three networks and will outfit all female players with the break-away jerseys and break-away pants. Their games will also be filmed with 15 “ultra-slow mo boob-zoom” and “super scan butt cams” with pause,reverse,fast forward,still; internet home viewing capabilities.

Jackie’s playing for the Chiefs may just be a little to late. The NFFL will no doubt put the NFL out of business.

Miesha Tate Chokes Taylor Swift In Backstage Altercation

Topless Olympic Skier Jackie Chamoun To Be The Official Face Of The New Thunderbra



Sochi, Black Sea –

Lissom blond 22 year-old
skier Jackie Chamoun has been offered a whopping $5 million contract as the official ‘face’ – ok, ok, tits! – of the new Agent Provocateur Thunderbra, ‘the brassiere that knocks the spots off the Wunderbra’ if the ad blurs are to be believed.

Ms Chamoun’s 34-DD stonkers caught Olympic officials on the hop after they just popped out of her ski suit during the Women’s Freestyle Downhill at the Russian Winter games this week.

“She certainly caught our imagination,” the head of Thunderbra product placement said today, “and what’s more, I’d personally be very happy to offer Ms. Chamoun a customized fitting to ensure she makes the best of both those cups.”

Chamoun went on to win five gold medals at the games, mostly in the Women’s Fully Clothed Downhill races, where she beat the pants off fellow contestants from Moldova, Eritrea and the British Virgin Islands.

Pictures of her naked bosom frosting of in the bleak Russian winter sunshine can be found on a website called ‘Google’.

Re-Spin via The Spoof