Tag Archives: God

Blake Griffin Calls Creationists ‘Idiots’

empire-sports-blake-griffin-creationism-god-religionOAKLAND, CALIFORNIA-

After causing waves with a revealing Rolling Stone interview in which he seemed to endorse Young Earth Creationism, Los Angeles Clippers star Blake Griffin is not only backtracking, he’s bitch-slapping the very idea and the people who actually believed it.

”After that whole I slapped Justin Bieber thing, it seems people are gullible enough to believe anything,” Griffin commented after Tuesday’s practice. “So I thought I’d just casually throw it out there that I actually think the world is only 6,000 years old.”


Sure enough, the national press ran wild with it, and although some publications implied Griffin may have been joking (he does, after all have a really great, dry sense of humor), most people took it at face value. Griffin slammed that theory home like one of his monster dunks.

“You would have to believe that carbon testing is fake, dinosaurs were put here by Satan to test our faith in God, and that nut job Ken Ham is a good alternative to actual, peer-reviewed science,” said Griffin, as he took a swig of Red Bull, “I mean, I may be a jock, but I’m not an idiot.”

Griffin, who has continued his stellar regular season play right into the playoffs, wasn’t done with his rant, denigrating the citizens of Memphis in the process, a city where the Clippers played their last two Playoff series and where Creationism is taught in schools.

“Memphis was a cesspool of ignorance,” he continued, “I’m from Hollywood. I’ve got the brains! And I’m glad we’re playing the Warriors this year in the friendly confines of Oracle arena with the diverse, educated, cultured citizens of the Bay Area. Even though we despise the Warriors and refuse to have pre-game chapel with them. By the way, I go through the motions with that too. I mean, clearly, God is dead.”

In a related story, Blake Griffin recently claimed to be the reincarnated soul of Andy Kaufman.

Tim Tebow Confirms Belief in Santa Claus

empire-sports-tim-tebow-santa-claus-sexy-godCulver City, CA –

As if Tim Tebow wasn’t enough of a joke in the NFL. The former NFL Tight End/Quarterback  who is known to be a very religious man admitted his belief in Santa Claus in an interview earlier this morning with EmpireSports. Yes you read that right. Tim Tebow believes in Santa. Tebow who said Santa Claus ranks #2 in his list of favorite and most influential figures in his life. I’m sure you can guess his #1 by all of his other interviews and anytime you hear him talk. Quite frankly I am not sure if Tebow is trying to ruin any chance he has had with a woman or if Tim is a closet homosexual but this is clearly the worst move he could have made after just after trying to throw a football.

The failed NFL Quarterback stood by his beliefs after being questioned heavily about it. No one knows why his #1 and #2 most influential people are both mythical and fictional figures but to each his own I guess. This confession ranks right up there with the rednecks being abducted by aliens and anal probed. I’m sure you understand where I am taking this. Yes Tebow is a joke and ruined what we normal people consider a QB in the NFL. Yes Tebow is a complete moron for his beliefs in fictional beings. Yes I hate talking about Tebow and hearing about him as much as all of you. But who can pass up this information? A man in his mid 20’s believing in a religion? Sure I guess. But to believe in Santa Claus? I tried to reach out to Mr. and Mrs. Tebow but they said they were talking to Santa about Timothy’s Christmas gifts this year.

The entire Tebow family to be seems a bit out of date and very delusional in every possible way. I feel sorry for any future children who make come from these people. But maybe they will give birth to a intelligent child not following the same crazy and idiotic path. We will see. Just remember you seen it here first.

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