Tag Archives: fighting

Tapout Shirt Deemed Too Casual For Fridays, Too ‘Douchey’ For Rest of the Week

Minneapolis, MN- tapout-shirt-deemed-inappropriate-for-casual-friday-too-douchey-for-rest-of-week

One of the most recognizable and influential brands in mixed martial arts history, TapOut, was dealt a decisive blow last week when Ron Mitchell, a local Minnesota man and MBA, was told by his employer to go home and change out of his shiny TapOut shirt as it was deemed inappropriate for Casual Friday.

Despite a lengthy and profanity-filled conversation with the company HR manager in which Mitchell, an avid MMA fan and middle manager, pointed out that other employees wore sports jerseys out of season and ironic logo t-shirts that were not actually ironic, the decision by the company Board of Directors was final. Mitchell finally left the building after admitting that he had never actually made anyone “tap out”.

The disgruntled Mitchell immediately took to Facebook and posted an internet poll, evidently to get support from his friends about how ridiculous the decision was.

The results were startling.

The employee asked: “Is it inappropriate to wear a TapOut shirt to work?” To which he provide a yes/no option.

Despite only having 26 Facebook friends, the poll went viral and received an amazing 16 million responses. Of those 16 million votes, one million responders stated Yes, the shirt is inappropriate and 15 million responded with an added option “TapOut shirts are never appropriate, douche”.

There wasn’t a single vote stating that TapOut was okay to wear in the office or anywhere else on Earth. A few scattered votes were given for “yes, but only if you fall into a wormhole and are transported back to 2008.”

The once giant clothing brand has been in a steep decline since the passing of founder Charles “Mask” Lewis. A man who was not only a face of the company, but clearly a devotee of mixed martial arts and giving fighters a chance when no one else would. His passion for the sport and fighters transcended profits and product placements.

Since then, TapOut MPS shirts have appeared in JCPenny stores, a metaphoric “scarlet-A” for any brand as they became far more accessible to people unable to use computers or without permanent addresses.

In the week following the poll, every single Fortune 500 company has banned the appearance of TapOut shirts from their properties, even on Fridays and even from guys who “totally train, bra.”

Most employees are now also subject to impromptu checks to make sure TapOut is not being used as an undershirt. The main fear being the increasing number of men who dream of getting in a confrontation only to tear off their button-up shirts, flex, and start bouncing around yelling “What? What?!”

Surprisingly enough, there had been absolutely no outcry from the MMA community who unanimously agrees that they were pretty tired of getting dragged into the conversation every time some guy who tans too much and shaves his forearms gets thrown out of a club.

When reached for comment, TapOut brand owner Jarod Punkass released a statement to the press.

“Sounds about right.” Said Punkass. “Even I don’t wear the TapOut crap.”

When reached for comment, Mitchell admitted that he had considered legal actions before accidentally seeing his own reflection in a store window and admitting, “Yeah, I looked pretty douchey.”

Warner Bros. Interactive To Release Mortal Kombat Vs. MLB Video Game

BURBANK, California – empire-sports-mortal-kombat-MLB-baseball-video-game-warner-bros-interactive-vs-MK-MLB

The action fighting series Mortal Kombat has grown to become one of the biggest video game series ever since it was released to arcades for the first time 22 years ago, but the newest installment in the series, which was announced yesterday, is probably the craziest idea yet – Mortal Kombat Vs. The Major League is set to debut at the beginning of next year.

The official word came from the headquarters of Warner Bros. Interactive, the publishing company that took over for Midway Games in the production of the Mortal Kombat series back in 2009. In an email sent to video game magazines and online publications, Ed Boon, original co-creator of the Mortal Kombat series, announced that his subdivision, NetherRealm Studios, had secured licensing from Major League Baseball for a roster of around 20 different players from several different teams to be included in the gameplay.

“We are extremely excited to announce that we are in the beginning stages of production for our new game Mortal Kombat Vs. The Major League.” Said Boon. “We at NetherRealm are extremely excited, as this is something we had been working towards with the League for several years, and as the licenses and agreements fell into place, everything started happening immediately. We are tentatively scheduling release for early spring, 2015.”

Mortal Kombat has a long history of being extremely violent, causing controversy upon its initial release with its inclusion of graphic blood, realistic depictions of violence, and the creation of the “fatalities” that fans have come to love over time. When asked via email about whether this game was going to be a more “toned down” version, as some of the later Mortal Kombat games have been, Boon stated that there would be no holding back with this new game.

“We had to tone down some of the elements of violence for some of our later games and partnerships, such as Mortal Kombat Vs. The DC Universe. That was part of our agreement with DC, which wanted to be able to market the game towards children. The MLB has not imparted any restrictions on us in the use of their players or teams, so we’re aiming to make this one of the most brutal Mortal Kombat games to date.”

So far, there has been no official word on which teams or players might make it into the game, but as word got out to players, several have stepped up to offer their likenesses.

“It would be a dream come true to be in a Mortal Kombat video game.” Said Dustin Pedroia, second baseman for the Boston Red Sox. “I grew up on Mortal Kombat, like most boys my age. It would be a honor to face off against Scorpion.”

Warner Bros. Interactive will be watching the sales of this game closely, as Boon pointed out, because the numbers will directly correlate to whether or not they seek out licensing deals with other major sports clubs.

“Oh, definitely – we would love to make this into a series if it does well. NHL, NFL…really, the sky is the limit for what we can do with these characters.” Said Boon. “This is going to be the most fun game of the MK Universe so far. I can’t wait for everyone to play it.”

The game is being announced for the XBox 360 and PS3, as well as next-gen consoles XBox One and PS4.

Bellator MMA To Produce Celebrity Fight Tournament For SpikeTV

NEWPORT BEACH, California – empire-sports-bellator-mma-celebrity-fights-michael-cera-channing-tatum-edward-norton-danny-devito-coolio-tournament

Bellator MMA, the country’s second-largest mixed martial arts promotion, announced today that they would be putting together a celebrity tournament featuring some major names in Hollywood. They are hoping to use these fights to increase their television ratings, as well as bring more notice to their fighters and promotion as a whole.

Founder Bjorn Rebney started Bellator MMA in 2008 as the Bellator Fighting Championship (Bellator is latin for “warrior”) as a competitor to the uber-popular UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, which has been televising MMA fights since 1993. In the last several years, Bellator has slowly gained almost a cult-following of fans, who closely follow their 8-man tournaments, which are set up as a counter-action to the individual one-off fights presented by the UFC.

Rebney announced the new event from the company’s headquarters in Newport Beach, California.

“It is with great pleasure that I announce the new incarnation of Bellator MMA with our Celebrity Fights Tournament!” Said Rebney during his press conference. “We are very excited to work with our group of stars, to help train them, and get them ring-ready to beat the living hell out of each other.”

The announced celebrities that have already signed on the dotted line for the fights include Academy Award winning actors Matt Damon and Edward Norton, Danny DeVito, cult film director Kevin Smith, pop-star Justin Timberlake, pussy-boy Michael Cera, every woman’s masturbatory fantasy Channing Tatum, and Coolio.

The tournament will take place in mid-August, and will be televised on SpikeTV in the U.S. and CTV in Canada. Bellator’s normal rules will apply, as each celebrity is paired off against another in an 8-man bi-weekly staggered tournament, which will be compromised of three 5-minute rounds each. The winner will be given $100,000 for his favorite charity and, like any Bellator tournament winner, will be able to challenge current champion Vitaly Minakov of Russia. Minakov has been the Bellator heavyweight champion since November of 2013, and is expected to completely destroy any of the celebrities who may challenge him, especially Danny DeVito.

So far, a few of the celebrities have already been seen in gyms bulking up for their fight, including Edward Norton, who is looking to put back on all the American History X muscle and defeat Cera, who has been selected as his opponent for the first round.

“I know that I can beat him right to the ground. Who hasn’t wanted to punch Michael Cera in the face on more than one occasion? Jesus, did you guys see Year One? He deserves to be beaten into oblivion for making bad movies.” said Norton, apparently forgetting he was in the film The Incredible Hulk. 

Bellator MMA is said to already be seeking fighters for their next celebrity tournament, and has reportedly reached out to funny man Seth Rogen, Breaking Bad’s Bryan Cranston, and Star Wars creator George Lucas. So far, no one else has signed on officially, but speculation is high that everyone will be on board.

empire-sports-bellator-mma-celebrity-fights-michael-cera-channing-tatum-edward-norton-danny-devito-coolio-tournament-ROSTER
Tournament Roster For Bellator MMA’s Celebrity Fights 2014