Tag Archives: fight

Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Set to Fight

empire-manny-pacquiao-floyd-mayweather-fightMiami, Florida-

Two of the highest paid athletes in the world are all set to meet glove-to-glove in the ring. There have been rumors of this fight happening for several months, and after all the drama, the contracts, and the disappointments, fans can finally prepare themselves to see these two settle it in the ring.

The high profile fight truly began to take shape last year, when friends of Mayweather began mercilessly teasing him, claiming that he would never take a fight with Pacquiao because he knew that he would lose. Apparently, Mayweather took this as a challenge, a blow to his ego that rattled his cage enough to agree to get in the ring.

“I’m not afraid of anyone.” says Mayweather. “I will step in the ring with King Kong himself, and I’d whoop that monkey’s ass, too. They say money can’t buy you happiness, but I tell you what- I’ll feel extremely happy when I get the extreme amounts of cash from this fight purse. In no way shape or form will Manny be able to stand toe-to-toe with me.”

It appears that Mayweather has it in his head already that the fight is in the bag, and he should breeze though it as if it was just any punk off of the street. This may or may not be the case, but in Pacquiao’s eyes the outcome of the fight will be completely different.

“I’m going to punch him in the face until he can’t get up.” said Pacquiao, being as literal as possible in his description of the fight. “Then when he is down, I will laugh in his face. Floyd is useless. Wait and see. All his money, it won’t be able to save him in the ring. Maybe he can use $100 bill to wipe away the blood and tears.”

“Blood and tears? That sonofa—. You know what I’ll use that $100 bill for?” Said Mayweather in response. “I’m going to use that $100 bill to buy a box of tissues, because they’re way softer than money for wiping away tears. Also, I’ll expect at least $98 in change from that $100, and I’ll put that back in the bank. Can’t be too careful in this economy.”

The full fight card has not yet been announced, but the pay-per-view event is scheduled for the end of August, and will be held at the Sands Casino in Las Vegas.

UFC Ref Big John McCarthy Beaten Up At Los Angeles Costco

empire-sports-big-john-mccarthy-beaten-up-attacked-jumped-costco-hollywoodLOS ANGELES– Big John McCarthy of UFC ref fame was attacked and knocked unconscious early afternoon on Wednsesday at a Los Angeles Costco. Unfortunately there was no one to step in and stop the fight once he was clearly knocked out.

The assailants were, according to witnesses, two MMA fanatics who recognized Big John and started hassling the well known referee. They particularly had some issues with a couple of fights that they felt were stopped prematurely by McCarthy, according to eye witnesses.

“They were shouting something about an old Tito Ortiz fight back in the day,” said Joseph Goldsmith who saw the fight after buying his 300 pound bag of Cheetos at the Costco.

big-john-mccarthy-assailant-mugshot-beaten-up
A mugshot of one of the assailants shows the damage inflicted by Big John before he was knocked out

Big John is no pushover, as he is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt, but these two attackers had the element of surprise, as no one would imagine being attacked in a Costco parking lot over controversial fight stoppages. Big John apparently was facing one of the attackers, when he was hit in the back of the head with a large bag of staples purchased at the big box store. It is hard to recover from that, but Big John did manage to get in his licks. The two low lifes were pretty scuffed up in their mug shots. But there were two of them and only one of Big John. The move that finished McCarthy off was when he was clobbered by a 16 pound jar of peanut butter….crunchy. They caught him right on the temple and as UFC fans know, it was lights out.
There were some witnesses who tried to help the UFC ref but the two thugs were hardcore. Even after McCarthy was unconscious they added some kicks to the ribs for good measure. One witness actually jumped in and tried to wave the two attackers off, saying, “it’s all over, he’s out.” The guy just got caught up in the moment and is an aspiring MMA ref, he was not trying to save Big John evidently. Police finally arrived to break up the beating. One witness, Jerry Gallo, told us, “I am glad those thugs are off the streets, but I feel like the police stopped the fight a bit too soon. Big John may have been out cold but I feel like he could have rebounded at any time.”

UFC fans can rest assured that McCarthy will be back on his feet in a few days. He is recovering nicely and will be back at his training facility very soon. He will be appearing on the Joe Rogan podcast next Tuesday to discuss the upward trend of violence at wholesale store parking lots.

Joe Rogan To Fight In The UFC

LAS VEGAS, Nevada – joe rogan

One of the favorites in the UFC community is stepping away from the microphone and heading into the octagon. According to sources within the UFC, Joe Rogan will be taking center stage in an upcoming UFC bout.

According to Rogan, the fight was scheduled due to a challenge by an un-named fighter.

“Basically, this fighter called me a bitch and said I wouldn’t step in to the ring,” said Rogan in an interview on Saturday afternoon. “So I convinced Dana [White] to let me fight and now I’m going to show this guy who the bitch is.”

Since the beginning of the UFC Rogan has been there in support, and even traveling with the organization before the company blew up. He cashed in a few favors with Dana White and now the fight is set to take center stage.

“There is a reason we have Joe on our team here in UFC, he isn’t just a personality, he is a great fighter with knowledge about the sport,” said White.

“I feel bad for the dude that called him out, because I promise Joe will knock the living shit out of him. He’s going to wish he challenged Joe in his other show Fear Factor rather than going into the octagon with him. I know I myself would rather eat a bull testicle then take a kick to the face from Rogan.”

Dana White has yet to make an official comment for the fight but it is expected that he will within the next week.  A date for the event should be set sometime after.

 

Ronda Rousey Pregnant, Still Plans to Fight During Pregnancy

empire-sports-ronda-rousey-pregnant-dana-white-sex-relationship-fight-ufcRiverside County, California– One of the most feared females in the octagon has some huge news coming to her fans. The female UFC Champion Ronda Rousey has announced that she is in fact pregnant.

The 27 year old UFC fighter has made it to the top of the fighter world, win after win. She put the female chapter of the UFC on the maps, and still to this day is undefeated. On top of all of that she is a complete heartthrob, which she gets a lot of attention for.

All of these things may be the reason why she has decided to continue to fight, even though she is pregnant. A move like this may get frowned upon by her fans, and Dana White has not giving a comment on the new announcement, and if he will even allow this to happen.

In the meantime Rousey has made it very clear that she will be doing everything in her power to fight while with child.

“I can see the dangers in it, but I am very good at protecting myself,” said Rousey.

“I’m the champ for a reason, and it is my choice to step into the ring or not. Nothing can hold me back here to be honest, I’m at the high point of my career, and I don’t have 9 plus months to fade away in the fighting world.”

Rousey has not made it clear who the father of the child may be, but rumors are floating that it may belong to UFC President Dana White.  The two have been spotted at a lot of different events, and rumors of the two secretly dating have been around for several months.

 

 

 

Justin Bieber Facing Deportation After Fight At NHL Playoff Game

BOSTON, Massachusetts – empire-sports-justin-bieber-deportation-fight-hockey-NHL-bruins-red-wings-game

During game 5 of the Boston Bruin’s first round of playoff games, there were plenty of stars on the ice to bring home a win over the Detroit Red Wings, 4-2. In the stands, though, there was another big star – and he wouldn’t stop running his mouth around the entirely wrong crowd.

Canadian teen pop-star Justin Bieber was given tickets to the game by his management, because as a Canadian it is required that he like hockey. This being a playoff game in Boston, though, it was a horrible idea for Bieber to have an attitude towards Bruins hockey fans.

“He was drunk, screaming at the Bruins players, banging on the glass.” Said Willy Cherie, a Boston fan who was sitting a row behind Bieber. “We paid good money for our seats, and we wanted to see Boston destroy Detroit, and here’s this dumb ass kid, who got in for free I’m sure, and he’s yelling, calling the players names, calling all the fans around him names…he really was out of his mind drunk.”

According to reports, Bieber, who is not even old enough to drink in the United States, arrived at the game drunk, and was denied beer at the concession stand. At some point during the game, members of his posse were able to procure Bieber some unknown alcohol in a flask, and it wasn’t long before the pansy lightweight was completely obliterated.

During a break in action during the 2nd period, Bieber allegedly called a Boston fan sitting near him a “fat ass pice of s**t,” and shoved the fan because he was wearing a Bruins jersey. The fan, whose first name is Tom but whose last name has not been released for privacy reasons, punched Bieber across the face, and was immediately tackled by members of Bieber’s security team, who were posed as other fans seated near him. They allegedly threw him to the ground, where they held him down so Bieber could get a few punches and kicks in, because it would be impossible for him to ever hit someone in a fair fight.

“…And then they all took off in a hell of hurry.” Said Bryan Camden, another witness at the game. “After people around realized what was happening, they ran towards Bieber’s crew, ready to pull them off the poor guy, but the jerks saw everyone coming at them and got out of there.”

Security at the TD Garden, where the game was being held, brought Tom to the medical station, where it was found he had a broken rib and wrist, as well as bruises to most of his face and neck.

Within just an hour, Bieber and three members of his security team were found and arrested where they were brought to Boston Police headquarters for booking. A week later, the members of security (who were all US citizens) are still in jail, not able to pay their bail, and Bieber is scheduled to go before a judge in the Massachusetts Commonwealth District Court, were he will face an almost likely deportation to Canada.

Herbert R. Chipper, the lawyer representing the Commonwealth, gave a brief statement to the press on Tuesday, where he stated that he had a “good feeling” that they would finally be able to rid the U.S. of Bieber.

“Young Bieber has had several arrests in this country since he became a prominent figure. He’s had issues with drinking, marijuana, speeding, car accidents, fights – and this one tops it all.” Said Chipper in his statement. “Normally deportation is reserved for violent cases, such as rape or murder, but when you’re a pompous prick who has the singing talent of a walrus in heat, we will throw anything we can at you to make sure you never set foot on our great land again. That’s how we got rid of Bryan Adams, too.”

Tom the fan is preparing a lawsuit against the pop singer, but so far neither he nor his lawyers have cited any specifics. Bieber has a scheduled hearing for Wednesday, and is currently out on $20,000 bail. If deported, it is unclear whether he will face any jail time in his native Canada, or if they’ll just forget all aboot it, eh?

Miley Cyrus Kicked Out Of Derby Party After Fight With Porn Star Ron Jeremy

empire-sports-miley-cyrus-ron-jeremy-fight-nightclub-stripclub-bar-wrecking-ball-spoof-video-sexLOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY— On the first Saturday in May each year, celebrities gather at historic Churchill Downs in the heart of a town not normally associated with the glitz and glamour, and sometimes drama, of celebrity life.

Following the event many celebs find their way to the local pub and clubs to partake in the many post-Derby festivities around town.

While most remain uneventful, some patrons at a strip club on Preston Hwy in Louisville called Trixies got a taste of celebrity drama as a verbal fight between pop celeb Miley Cyrus and porn star Ron Jeremy ended with Cyrus being escorted out of the club.

According to the club’s manager, Ron Jeremy was hosting the Derby event at the club.  At some point while Jeremy was talking with some fans near the bar area, he was approached by a, according to many, highly intoxicated Miley Cyrus who, “thought he should die for ripping off her video.”

jeremy
A screen shot from Ron Jeremy’s remake of Cyrus’ ‘Wrecking Ball’ video

Apparently, Miley was upset over Ron Jeremy’s spoof remake of her Wrecking Ball video and thought a Derby party at a strip club would be the most appropriate time to vent her complaints.

Several witnesses claimed to have witnessed Cyrus trying to punch Jeremy in the face before club bouncers were forced to escort the heated Cyrus from the club.

“It was the funniest thing I ever saw,” said club goer Brendan Kelly of Flint, Michigan. “She [Cyrus] was yelling and trying to punch him [Jeremy] and he was just sitting back and laughing.  Then when Miley was kicked out of club everyone in the entire place started cheering.  He’s a legend and she’s a skanky bitch.”

A video crew who was filming in the club for an upcoming reality tv show featuring the club’s dancers and staff said they caught most of the fight on film and plan to release the video as bonus footage to their upcoming show.

Police officers outside of the club threatened to arrest Cyrus for PUI and disorderly conduct before she left with a friend.

MLB To Allow Players To Run Bases While Holding Bat

empire-sports-mlb-running-with-bat-assault-commishioner-bud-selig-baseball-rule-changeNEW YORK CITY, New York – 

During a press conference this morning, commissioner of Major League Baseball Bud Selig announced another major change to the rules of play in professional baseball. This new announcement comes only weeks after the change to the home-plate collision rule, which makes it against the rules for catchers to block the path of a base-runner sliding into home plate.

The new rule, as Selig explained it, will allow all players to carry their bats with them to each base as they run. The change is being made to further the excitement among fans as players inevitably slide into bases and “accidentally” beat the hell out of the baseman.

“It’s a great change for all players, but it’s an even better change for people watching at home and in the stands. We know those 9 innings can sometimes be a nightmare where nothing at all happens. It’s even worse if the games go long. This change will make every base hit a nail-biter!” Said Selig.

Selig, who has been commissioner of baseball since 1992, reportedly came up with the idea while watching the 1990 film Problem Child starring John Ritter. In the film, a man adopts an unruly child, who in one scene hits a ground ball and immediately runs to each base while holding the bat, clubbing the other kids at each base as he goes.

“I saw that scene and I laughed so hard, and I knew that the fans of MLB would laugh, too. Every time Mark Teixeira takes a nut-shot with a Louisville Slugger they’ll hoot and holler. The rule had to happen.”

Selig said he also thought of changing the name of the “home-run” to a “touchdown,” which is what the boy from Problem Child began chanting after making it around the bases in the film. “I knew that the NFL would never allow us to steal their phrase, though.” said Selig. There is no word whether this new rule supersedes the recent home-plate collision rule.

Players are apparently divided on the new rule, with some actually talking about quitting the game all together.

“I never wanted to have to worry about getting smacked in the jimmies with a baseball bat,” said Derek Jeter, shortstop for the New York Yankees. “It’s bad enough that I have to worry about balls flying at my face. Now I have to worry about long, hard wood, too? It’s just too much for a pretty man like me to have to deal with.”

Neither Selig nor any representative for MLB could be reached at the time of this writing for comment.

Movement Seeking Teen Mom Fight With Rousey Gains Momentum

empire-sports-ronda-rousey-janelle-evans-mma-fight-ufcLAS VEGAS—

It seems like there is a new fight possibility for UFC champion Ronda Rousey each week. It was just a few days ago that the ridiculous idea of her fighting boxing champ Floyd Mayweather was making the rounds. That story was intriguing but never really had a chance to happen. No way Mayweather would get in a ring of any shape to fight a female, even though Rousey is perfectly capable of defending herself against any man. It would have been a no win situation for Money May. If he loses he is disgraced, and if he wins, what honor is that for a man beating up a woman?

This new possible opponent for Rousey would be a win-win for almost everyone on the planet. The talk is heating up due to support in the sports world as well as the pop culture world. The opponent that is being pushed toward the Rousey camp, as an exhibition fight, is Jenelle Evans from MTV’s Teen Mom 2. For those few who are unaware of the MTV reality show, it basically shows the lives of multiple teenage moms navigating their way, mostly unsuccessfully, through society. Jenelle is possibly the most hateable character on the show. I only say “possibly” because her own mom is on the show and is a monster of epic proportions with a voice that makes one contemplate where such humans could originate. So many people would like to punch Ms. Evans in the face that it’s a lock that those same people would pay $60 to watch Ronda Rousey do the dirty work for them.

Ronda Rousey does not need a fight like this. Clearly she would destroy Jenelle as quickly as the champ desired. Ms. Evans definitely does not need a fight like this, even though she does enjoy brawling with her contemporaries in the white trash community. Jenelle’s only motivation for fighting a killer like Rousey would obviously be the cash. There would be a pile of it on the table and the teen mom usually needs some bail money for her repeated run-ins with the authorities. She often times even fails drug tests during court when she knows the tests are coming. So maybe the biggest hurdle to this fight actually becoming a reality, is Jenelle’s mental stability. I am not sure if the sanctioning body of Nevada allows crazy people to engage in MMA fights.

The biggest pay off for this cage match between Rousey and Jenelle Evans would go to the American public. The USA has seen some tough times in the last six or seven years. The economy is still a grind and our young generation appears to have no direction or motivation. This PPV fight could bring in half a billion dollars if it is promoted properly. Even more importantly, it could show kids that hard work and having class actually pays off. It would be a battle between good and evil in my eyes. Good, being Ronda Rousey, who with hard work, discipline, respect for her craft, and a drive to be something better, has reached the top of her profession. Evil, being Jenelle, who with no talent, no work ethic, no self control, no motivation, and no clue, has somehow risen to a small level of fame. Seeing ‘good’ pummel ‘evil’ into a bloody mess would be good for the young generation in the USA. Maybe it would wake them up from the false promise of government checks, reality TV idiocy, and possibly get them off the couch to find a job or hit the gym.

History is Made With the First Male Vs. Female UFC Fight

empire-sports-mma-ufc-male-vs-female-coed-fight-mixed-sexChicago, Illinois-

One of the most entertaining, hard hitting sports, is bringing another aspect to the octagon that will have fans freaking out. The UFC runs a tight ship when it comes to there professional fights with weight classes, referees, and measures to make sure that their fighters are as safe as possible, even though it is their job to beat each other up.

The question is will their next stunt be one to break them or make them? it has been announced for the first time ever in UFC history that a male fighter will be facing a female fighter in months to come. The fighters have yet to be announced, but the contract is a go, and the fight will take place in Chicago, Illinois.

“I’ve seen the female fighters really making some great moves in the octagon, and the ratings for their fights have been going up, and up since we started that branch of the UFC.” said Dana White

“My team and I have decided to take it to the next level, and see if some of these ladies can compete against the men. If all goes like planned the first Co-Ed fight will take place in Chicago.”

Rules and regulations will be switched up for the fight, to make sure that neither fighter will get hurt, or hurt the other opponent to the point of serious damage. A few names have been spoken, but the official bout has yet to be determined, or at least made public.

“I’ll tell you one thing, if a female fighter knocks out a male fighter, it will prove that women belong in this sport. I watch some of my girl fighters, and I am blown away by there fighting skills, so when the idea was pitched to me I had no hesitation to go ahead with the bout.” said White

Gang Member Claims He Was ‘Jumped-In’ By Desean Jackson And Snoop Dogg

empire-sports-gang-member-jumped-in-desean-jackson-snoop-dogg-fight-deadLOS ANGELES—

Some people feel that being part of a gang is being part of a family. Which could d be the case if thats how you choose to live your life. Some people enjoy the street life, and want to surround themselves with crime, and violence.

That is why when entering a gang there are certain things you have to do to show your trust, and determination. Now, you would think someone who has made it in life who see the gang life as something they wouldn’t need anymore. That is not the way it goes for some celebrities and professional athletes, that have had gang ties in there earlier stages of life.

Two names that are always in the news for being the best at what they do, now have a different kind of attention coming there way. NFL wide receiver Desean Jackson, and rapper Snoop Dogg, are facing an ugly truth that has found its way to the surface.

A younger gentlemen who wants to stay anonymous claims that Jackson and Snoop Dogg beat the hell out of him, as an initiation to be a part of a gang.

“When I first saw them at the spot, I was losing it! These are two of the best at what they are doing, and I was star struck.” says the young gentlemen

“They asked me if I rolled with this crew, and I told them I planned to once I got the okay. They then said that they would put in a good word and told me to take a walk with them. Right when we got outside they starting hitting me, along with a bunch of other guys. When I came to all I heard was “Welcome” and they left me there half dead.”

No one from either Snoop or Jackson’s camp have commented on the allegations at this time.