Missouri defensive end Michael Sam told reporters on Sunday that he is gay, and he hopes to become the first openly gay NFL player to suffer a concussion.
“I am an openly gay, proud man,” proclaimed Sam, “and I am looking to enter the 2014 NFL Draft so I can someday be the first homosexual to experience a debilitating head injury playing the sport I love so dearly.”
He further explained that his sexual orientation should have nothing to do with what happens on the football field, and he wants to put his health, mental capabilities, and future at risk just like any other NFL player.
Gay rights advocates cheered the decision to come out, and several civil rights leaders proclaimed that the U.S. will take a giant step forward if he can lay in a hospital bed next to a straight concussion victim and figure out where they are—together.
“I hope that this move inspires any gay children out there to come out, play football, and put their mental development at severe risk.”
Final reports showed that while this move wasn’t necessarily difficult for Sam, he’s not yet ready to come out as the first gay spinal cord injury.