Tag Archives: Blake Griffin

Blake Griffin Calls Creationists ‘Idiots’

empire-sports-blake-griffin-creationism-god-religionOAKLAND, CALIFORNIA-

After causing waves with a revealing Rolling Stone interview in which he seemed to endorse Young Earth Creationism, Los Angeles Clippers star Blake Griffin is not only backtracking, he’s bitch-slapping the very idea and the people who actually believed it.

”After that whole I slapped Justin Bieber thing, it seems people are gullible enough to believe anything,” Griffin commented after Tuesday’s practice. “So I thought I’d just casually throw it out there that I actually think the world is only 6,000 years old.”


Sure enough, the national press ran wild with it, and although some publications implied Griffin may have been joking (he does, after all have a really great, dry sense of humor), most people took it at face value. Griffin slammed that theory home like one of his monster dunks.

“You would have to believe that carbon testing is fake, dinosaurs were put here by Satan to test our faith in God, and that nut job Ken Ham is a good alternative to actual, peer-reviewed science,” said Griffin, as he took a swig of Red Bull, “I mean, I may be a jock, but I’m not an idiot.”

Griffin, who has continued his stellar regular season play right into the playoffs, wasn’t done with his rant, denigrating the citizens of Memphis in the process, a city where the Clippers played their last two Playoff series and where Creationism is taught in schools.

“Memphis was a cesspool of ignorance,” he continued, “I’m from Hollywood. I’ve got the brains! And I’m glad we’re playing the Warriors this year in the friendly confines of Oracle arena with the diverse, educated, cultured citizens of the Bay Area. Even though we despise the Warriors and refuse to have pre-game chapel with them. By the way, I go through the motions with that too. I mean, clearly, God is dead.”

In a related story, Blake Griffin recently claimed to be the reincarnated soul of Andy Kaufman.

Blake Griffin Admits He Is Albino

empire-sports-blake-griffin-admis-albino-whiteLos Angeles, California-

One of the most exciting players in the game has a confession that will either shock you, or make sense. The 6’10 power forward has admitted this week that he is an Albino American, and isn’t going to hide in the shadows anymore. Even though if he is an Albino maybe the shadows aren’t the worse spot for him, seeing how the sun can really leave a burn mark for pale people.

Griffin made the announcement after a team mates continued to insult him about his pale complexion. The tainting must have triggered an emotion in Griffin, as it is clear that he has been hiding this secret for several years now.

“It doesn’t matter how many top 10 plays I have on ESPN, people who not stop bothering me for the fact that I was extremely pale in there eyes” said Griffin

“I got to a point were all I wanted to do was beat the hell out of any one that made a remark, and that isn’t my style at all. I decided to admit to being Albino finally, because I felt the bullying would stop, and I’d get some piece of mind. So far people have been extremely supportive, and I am glad I made the call to tell my peers about who I really am” said Griffin

With news of Griffin being Albino sponsors, and NBA officials have been contacting him off the way. Since the announcement Griffin has picked up sponsorships with sun screen, umbrella, and hat companies all over the nation.

“It tough to be a white guy in the NBA, and to some how be whiter, then white I know I have a long journey ahead of me, but I’m willing to take the trip. Just as long as it isn’t to long sunny out.” said Griffin


Leaked Photos: Blake Griffin Gives Justin Bieber Black Eye

Empire-Sports-Justin-Bieber-Black-EyeHOLLYWOOD, CA–

On Monday Empire Sports broke news of an incident involving troubled pop-star Justin Bieber having a bad encounter with NBA star Blake Griffin’s hand.  Social Media was abuzz and many outlets reported conflicting stories of the incident.

Notably quiet after the incident was Bieber himself. He made no posts on his Twitter or Facebook accounts after the incident and no media outlets were able to elicit a response. We attempted ourselves to make contact with Justin regarding the incident but he refused to comment.

The story was destined to fade from the public’s memory.. that is until today.

Early this morning we received an anonymous submission of leaked photos of Bieber who can be seen clearly bruised on one side of his face.  A series a photos, which appear to have been taken on a cell phone camera, show Bieber with a large bruise covering one side of his face, a swollen lip and a black eye.

It’s unknown how long after the incident these photos were taken.

We are still waiting to hear from Justin but these new photo certainly makes a statement of their own.

We will have more news on the story as it breaks.



Blake Griffin Smacks Justin Bieber At Hollywood Starbucks

blake-griffin-justin-bieber-starbucksWEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA–

Justin Bieber simply can’t seem to keep himself out of trouble.

Police were dispatched this morning to respond to an altercation at a Starbucks in West Hollywood involving some familiar faces.

A barista at the coffee house was apparently confronted by Bieber  when he refused to serve the pop star because he wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“He came in with no shirt on and his pants hanging down and underwear showing and tried to order a caramel apple machiatto.”, said Joey Goldsmith, the Starbucks barista, “I just told him he would have to put a shirt on if he wanted to order.”

That’s when Bieber snapped.

According to the police report Bieber started cussing at the barista and threatening to have his bodyguard, “kick his ass”.

Fortunately for Goldsmith, LA Clippers star Blake Griffin had been enjoying a drink at a table when he witnessed  the altercation and stepped in.

Witnesses at the scene reported that Griffin tried to calm Bieber but the Biebs wasn’t having any of it. There was more yelling, and some pushing and that’s when Griffin smacked Bieber, knocking him to the floor.

“He smacked the shit out of him” said one witness, “then I saw Justin stumble out of the door looking like he was crying.”

Bieber was gone before police arrived at the scene.

Blake Griffin Smacked The Straight Out Of Justin Bieber