PITTSTON, Pennsylvania –
A woman is facing charges and fines after being arrested Thursday evening at a Walmart store in Pittston, Pennsylvania. Police arrested and charged Holly Fray with grand theft after store employees said that they had seen her walking through the store, sticking food up her…
Seattle, Washington – 
Seattle Seahawks’ corner back Richard Sherman is in the spotlight again, but this time it isn’t for a great play, or slamming an opposing team. One of the best defensive players in the NFL today has found himself off the field and behind bars after an argument with a local police officer on Wednesday evening.
Sherman is known for his cockiness on the field, and a vocabulary that can only be described as “trash-talk.” His passion on the field often carries over to the after-game interviews, and he is the type of player Seahawks fans either love, or love to hate.
Despite his reputation for attitude within the NFL, witnesses to Sherman’s altercation with a Seattle police officer were shocked by his behavior.
“It was like he just picked off Peyton in the Super Bowl, and ran it back for a touchdown or something. His cockiness was at an all time high!” Said Curt Johnson, a bystander to the incident.
Sherman’s problems arose when a police officer witnessed him jaywalking, and gave him a warning not to do it again. The officer later admitted that he wasn’t so much worried about the jaywalking law in Seattle, but the fact that it was a busy street and Sherman could have been hurt, as several pedestrians have been hit by cars in the same area over the last few months.
“He asked me if I knew who he was, and I said of course, I’m a huge fan.” Said Patrolman Mike Stephens. “[Sherman] then continued to say, ‘Then you know that I own [expletive] Seattle, and any [expletive] street I want to cross I can, no matter where I decide to [expletive] cross it.'”
Stephens apparently tried to apologize, and explain to Sherman that he was just doing his job, and that Sherman’s celebrity status in the city did not give him the right to curse anyone.
“He told me that I was a terrible police officer, and said I should just go eat some [expletive] donuts.” Said Officer Stephens. “He went off on me about how he was doing better in life than I was, and said that I shouldn’t even watch a Seattle game again, because I didn’t deserve to witness the ‘greatness’ that was him on a football field.”
Sherman was arrested and charged with jaywalking and disorderly conduct towards a police officer in the course of his duty. Representatives for Sherman could not be reached for comment at press time.
SAN ANTONIO, Texas –
UPDATE: The validity of this article could not be confirmed. According to the San Antonio Spurs, no one named Brendan Kelly was working as a contractor during this time.
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Brendan Kelly, a mechanical contractor working at the AT&T center, was arrested today after security footage showed him tampering with the air conditioning unit during game 1 of the NBA finals. Kelly, a die-hard Spurs fan, was quoted as saying he thought that sabotaging the air conditioning would make it extremely difficult for the Spurs’ opponents, the Miami Heat, to play, thus making him a fortune with his bookie.
“I just wanted to give my boys an edge, and I saw a perfect opportunity here.” Kelly said during a police interview. “Nothing wrong with making a little scratch on a game, right?”
The heat inside the AT&T Center had reached almost 90 degrees by the end of the third quarter, and not only was it taking a toll on the Heat, causing star player LeBron James to sit out part of the the game with cramps caused by dehydration, it wasn’t doing any favors for the Spurs, either.
“I don’t think I’ve ever played in anything like this since I left the islands,” said Tim Duncan, center for the Spurs and a native of St. Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands.
Despite complaints from everyone in the building, referees and coaches were never consulted about stopping the game. According to Rod Thorn, Vice President of Operations for the NBA, because players were not “slipping on condensation,” there was never any talk during the game of stopping play.
“We rarely would stop a game, especially in the playoffs.” Said Thorne.
Official word from representatives for the AT&T Center was that their system was just malfunctioning. Now that Kelly has been arrested for the tampering, they have backpedaled in their stance on the matter.
“We were under the assumption that our air conditioning system was malfunctioning, and that was our initial report.” Said Raymond McNeil, director of the AT&T Center. “With Mr. Kelly being taken into police custody, we are supporting them in any way we can to make sure he is prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”
Kelly is being charged with 1st degree vandalism and placing illegal bets on a sports game, both felonies in the state of Texas.
