In honor of President’s Day yesterday, the staff at empiresports.co has decided to release it’s listing of the first ever All-Presidents Basketball Squad. A team composed entirely of our commanders-in-chief, hope you enjoy and feel free to list your own thoughts below in the comment section.
*During the President’s Athletic Prime*
Point Guard – Barack Obama: Obama played in high school, the only president with organized experience in the game of hoops, and while it has been reported that he was cut from an intramural team in college (they make cuts at that level!?) our current POTUS has also installed a basketball court in the White House, which leads me to believe he spent at least some time there honing his skills.
NBA COMPARISON – Isiah Thomas: The Pistons Isiah Thomas by the way. In my head I picture Obama as a bit of a scoring threat who also isn’t afraid to dish the rock, as well as somebody who can hold up his share of the bargain on the defensive end.
Shooting Guard – John F. Kennedy: Though he was known to struggle with extreme back problems, old JFK played some football at Harvard, as well as holding particularly vicious pick-up football games throughout his life including his presidency. Plus, going through the whole Cuban Missile Crisis would lead you to believe that JFK would be the go to option in close game situations.
NBA COMPARISON – Dwayne Wade: JFK seems like the kind of the guy who would be quick off the dribble and then could smother you defensively. I like to think that Mr. Kennedy is just as smooth of a player as he was with the ladies.
Small Forward – George H.W. Bush: A little known fact is that the elder Bush played baseball at Yale, and he played it well. His Bulldog team even made it to the College World Series in 1948, a season in which he hit for the cycle against North Carolina. His apparent athleticism makes him the perfect fit at the 3.
NBA COMPARISON – Larry Bird: H.W. would be asked to do it all on the team, spot up from 3, get a few boards, defend the other teams best player. Also, like Larry Bird, Bush’s athleticism is something generally forgotten about.
Power Forward – George Washington: Okay, I know basketball wasn’t invented at that point, but come on… Can’t you see the General playing some crazy defense and grabbing every single board? One of the taller presidents, and extremely tall for his time period, Washington would know how to use his size to defeat opponents that seem to be much stronger and larger (see: Revolutionary War) could he lead our squad to the playoffs like he led the army across the Delaware? One could only hope.
NBA COMPARISON – Ben Wallace: Despite the fact that Washington never sported a sick afro like Big Ben, the comparison is the closest fit I believe. Ben was not the tallest, though pretty tall, and was a lockdown defender and great rebounder who left a little to be desired on the offensive end, though he could still hold is own.
Center – Abraham Lincoln: Was there any doubt about this one? The tallest president, Honest Abe was a pretty big fan of baseball and played it recreationally. Also, Abe would presumably be the team’s leader if there was any inter-squad conflict. Tall and lanky, Lincoln would provide some versatility at the 5.
NBA COMPARISON – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: It’s hard to picture Abe doing anything else on the court but spotting up from the free-throw line with a great big sky-hook. The great emancipator would never be the fanciest of players, but god damn, he would be able to play some beautiful basketball. Honorable Mentions: Jimmy Carter (he just looks like the 3 point specialist you call off the bench) George W. Bush (Bush played football at Yale, plus you’d get the whole Ken Griffey Jr/Sr thing so that’s cool) William Howard Taft (Taft weighed 340 pounds, just imagine that backing you down in the post) Dwight Eisenhower (A star linebacker at West Point and a successful military general, he would bring good court awareness and IQ as well as some natural ability)