Tag Archives: A-Rod

Alex Rodriguez Demanding More Money

empire-sports-alex-rodriquez-demanding-more-money-contract-yankeesNEW YORK—

The Yankees have been through a lot these last past years, and we may be seeing some what of a drought from the historic franchise. With Rivera retired, and Jeter on his way out, these two main faces of the Yankees will hope that their team will keep the legacy going, and continue to win World Series.

With a roster getting more and more slim the Yankees really need to focus on getting the veteran players into more of a leadership mode. They need to rely on some of the more experienced players to take the younger guys under their win, and make sure they help mold the future of the team.

One hard hitting Yankee that isn’t giving the best impression is Alex Rodriguez. Rodriquez spent most of his time on the bench last year due to things so sneaky, we can get sued if we even mention them. The kicker to the case is the fact that Rodriquez is requesting a pay raise even though he will be likely to stay right where he was last year..in the dugout.

“You know most people think it’s hard to hit homeruns in a clutch spot, or make a diving play with 2 outs, and the bases loaded. I’ve learned from sitting out the true test of a baseball player is sitting out for games.”

We asked if this was because you have to watch your team play, and the anxiety of you wanting to be on the field is killing you mentally?

“Not at all, its tough in the dugout, sometimes my legs fall asleep for sitting to long. Also, if it is a day game sunlight can poke through and hit me right in the eyes. It’s frustrating, and this is why I’ve decided to ask for a pay raise.”

Rodriquez will receive the entire budget the Yankees have to pay their players, while the rest of team will be paid in hotdogs, and A Rod bobble heads.

Masahiro Tanaka Signs With Yankees, Thanks Performance Enhancing Drugs

13993026-standardToday Japanese phenom Masahiro Tanaka was introduced to the New York Yankees. Tanaka who dominated the Japanese league with the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles. Tanaka’s numbers were as follows:

-24-0 Win-Loss record

-1.27 ERA

-183 strikeouts

-0.943 WHIP

Only logical explanation for this, PEDs.

Reporters asked Tanaka why he chose the Yankees, Tanaka responded saying “What kind of question is that? I chose the Yankees because they are offering me so much money to just throw a ball, anyways I will get hurt before the All Star game like every other overpaid Yankee so it is basically free money!” Reports wanted to ask Yankees GM Brian Cashman about the deal with Tanaka but he was unavailable at the time reporters heard him weeping in his office as he wrote the check to the future bust.

Reporters also questioned about the Alex Rodriguez scandal to Tanaka and if he was aware of the current situation. “A-Rod? Oh yeah that guy has more steroid connects than millions he gave me about 6 phone numbers but I already have my connect back home he was the the reason I improved so much.”