Scientific Study Shows Massive Percentage of UFC Fans Use Steroids

empire-sports-UFC-fans-abuse-steroids-scientific-study-poll-HGHNEW YORK CITY, New York – 

The latest findings from a company in New York are turning out to be an eye opener for the UFC. Trigodroid, Inc., a research company, released their data earlier today that showed that an astounding 62% of UFC fans are using some type of steroid. The study, which originally was designed to judge the health of average sports fans, was adjusted after the topic of steroids and the UFC were brought up by interviewees multiple times.

What researchers discovered is that the aggressive behavior displayed during UFC events was contributing to the high rate of steroid use among the fans. Shannon Smith, a manager for Trigodroid, told us that “‘Roid rage” was high amongst the arm waving, chest flexing, neck tattooed, growling fans.

“Most normal sports fans do not exhibit the barbaric behavior seen at each live UFC event. You don’t see basketball or baseball fans acting crazy for the cameras.” Said Smith. “Sure, you might see that kind of thing at a monster truck event or by fans of the NFL, but that behavior is most likely just the result of generations of inbreeding and poor education, not steroid abuse.”

Another statistic from the poll shows that the rage fans show is not solely isolated to live events. UFC fans who watch at home are eight times more likely to destroy their own property than any other group of sports fans. Smith told us that handyman services saw a 35% increase in service calls in area codes with high PPV buy rates after the last UFC bout.

“It is truly amazing that these people get so caught up in the fight action, not to mention the syringes filled with growth hormones intended for cattle, that they break TVs, punch walls, and set couches ablaze.”

If all the data that was gathered turns out to be accurate, then Trigodroid will be talking with and testing fans of other sports, starting with UFC competitor Bellator MMA, as well as fans of NASCAR and professional bowling.

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