Report: Nothing Exciting Happens at 188th Annual Boston Marathon

Hundreds of people line the streets at the Boston Marathon finish line, and all of them look out of their minds with boredom

BOSTON, Massachusetts – 

It was an uneventful year at the finish line for the 188th Boston Marathon. Crowds were watching from the sidelines on Boylston Ave, half-heartedly cheering as Meb Keflezighi crossed the finish line first. Keflezighi, an American citizen who was born in Eritrea, Africa, was the favorite to win, so it wasn’t really a shock to him or to anyone watching that he crossed the line first.

“I came to win, I was expected to win, and I did, indeed, win.” Said Keflezighi after the race. “It’s the first time an American has won in 30 years, so, that’s something, right?”

Spectators on the sidelines and watching at home were anticipating something exciting or newsworthy to happen, but as it turns out, things rarely happen at the Boston Marathon.

“I was hear last year, and it was crazy. I was really hoping for something exciting to happen,” said Marcus Pilsner, a New York native, who was at his second Boston Marathon. “Sadly, all we got to see this year were people running. It really was just same ol’, same ol.”

Last year during the end of the Boston Marathon, a bomb exploded that seriously injured many people, including several people running in the race. As it was the first time in 117 years that anything exciting had happened during the marathon, people this year were apparently also expecting something drastic.

“It was a tragedy, last year, for sure. No one is denying that. One of the worst things to ever happen to this city.” said Phil Farrar, a Boston native. “No one wanted to see anything bad happen like that again. No one would ever want that. But I guess no one was expecting nothing to happen either. It was just people running. I guess after last year’s tragic events, I sorta forgot that this really isn’t anything exciting.”

After the event, people took to Twitter and Facebook to complain about the lack of excitement at the event, with hashtag #BostonStrongMarathonWeak trending worldwide.

Race officials say this year was a record-breaking crowd, and are expecting even more people to attend the event next year, as they know by that point people will have forgotten once again that nothing exciting happens, and it’s just a bunch of people running and sweating.

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