PYONGYANG, North Korea – 

The FIFA World Cup has officially kicked off, and teams are eager to represent their nations. Most politicians sit back and hope for the best for the team representing their country, but others are not as content to sit on the sidelines. Kim Jong-Un has announced that he will be taking the spot of goalie for the North Korean soccer team during their time in the World Cup. The announcement was  only made today, but tensions have already risen between Jong-Un and his new teammates.

“I was told he would be on the team, and if we lost, we lost a finger.” Said a team member who wished to remain anonymous. “I am not sure how to play with that kind of stress.”

It is unclear if Jong-un has any experience in the soccer world, but in the confidence department he is doing very well.

“I will kick the ball, or grab it, or stop it. It should be simple. I am a very complex man, so this will be easy.” Said Jong-Un. “No one in North Korea would ever tell me no, so I do what I want, and I want to be a goalie.”

Jong-Un is scheduled to play in North Korea’s next match, and fans of his in North Korea, as well as soccer fans in other countries, are anxious to see how his skills fare against the best players in the world.

“I fear nothing, if a man wants to kick or throw his balls at me, I have no fear. I have taken harder hits in life, and this is a sport that I feel that I can dominant in.” Said Jong-Un.

It has been reported that Jong-Un will be receiving the highest salary in the team’s history, and his other teammates have decided to take a pay cut to have him on the team. The pay cut was forced, but Jong-Un claims he is proud of his players for staying so modest.