Category Archives: NCAA BB

NCAA Basketball News

Honey Boo Boo Cast In Kentucky Locker Room

April 7, 2014 kctinman Leave a comment

Arlington, Texas—

Sometimes the sports world crosses over into weird places and tonight’s NCAA basketball championship game is a prime example. For some reason Coach John Calipari thinks the Wildcats need something extra before the tip-off of tonight’s big game. That “something extra” is going to be a pre-game talk from the cast of TLC’s ‘Honey Boo Boo’ reality show. I am in no position to question the best basketball coach in college athletics today, but I have no clue what the hell he is thinking.

Everything is going very good for Calipari’s Kentucky team right now. They are exceeding all expectations as a #8 seed that is in position to win the whole tournament. Any wrong move could derail this entire run they are on right now. Having a band of barely literate hillbillies come inside the team locker room to motivate the young players seems reckless at best. I know high profile pre-game speeches have been the cool thing to do recently, with teams having former athletes and celebrities come in and rev up the guys. Jim Harbaugh even had Nature Boy Ric Flair fire up the 49ers before their playoff game with the Panthers last season. That worked out well for San Fran, but the wrestler received a good many death threats from psycho Panther fans.

Apparently the pre-game speech is scheduled for 7:55 pm tonight. A team spokesperson stated that there needed to be plenty of time set aside for the translators to convey what the necks from Georgia had to say to the young Wildcat team. In case you are unfamiliar with the TV show, they do not need translators because they are from the Georgia south of Russia. They are from the Georgia that is south of Tennessee, but unfortunately are so marble-mouthed that subtitles are needed on the TV show each week. Therefore, translators were a necessity for this pep talk.

One side note to this wackiness, is the added security for the team locker room. Yes, there are plenty of hicks from Kentucky that would want an autograph from their reality TV heroes. But the show’s mom, June Boo Boo, is a threat to eat the entire team buffet, if not the team itself if given the chance. You can never be too careful when the basketball world collides with white trash phenoms.

Headlines, NCAA BB, News

Harlem Globetrotters To Play In NCAA Final Four

April 1, 2014 JP Leave a comment

INDIANAPOLIS, IN—

It is that magical time of year for college basketball, March Madness. Hands down the most anticipated event for all basket ball fans, for many reasons. The upsets, the underdogs, and the pure talent that is displayed in these up coming weeks. Almost every year peoples college brackets get tossed, because of a no name team defeating a squad that was thought to be the top team.

If you happen to be among the few people that still have a perfect bracket for the tournaments, you may want to sit down after reading this article.

A huge twist is being thrown into this years tourney as The Harlem Globetrotters will automatically be placed in the final four, knocking out which ever team has the weakest record. People are in a outrage over this seeing how the Trotters didn’t even enter March Madness, or the fact that they aren’t a college.

“The are a great team, and we want to see them compete” said the chairman of the NCAA sports comity.

“Pure talent is what we want, and we want to see if this team can be taken down by some college kids”.

Earlier in the week the Trotters got to play in a scrimmage game against Dayton, and the players, and coaches weren’t happy about the new change to the tournament.

“These kids are playing there hearts out to become something big, it isn’t fair that the chairman would let this happen.” said head coach Archie Miller

“We draw up plays for teams that are in our league, today in the scrimmage I watched a Harlem Globetrotter do a 360, front flip dunk. This isn’t good for our young players ego, they’ve been getting dunk on so much they have bruises on their faces from the opposing teams nut sack constantly hitting there face.”

NCAA BB, News

JUCO Basketball Game Raises $106K Via Anti Justin Beiber Charity

March 28, 2014 kctinman Leave a comment

KANSAS CITY, KS—

Leave it up to Justin Beiber to generate a ton of cash in a short amount of time. The Beibs did not raise this money personally, but he played an integral part in it. It seems that a small junior college in Kansas decided to put on a charity event involving the pop star to raise money for homeless real estate agents. The organizer of the charity, Sheila Ledbetter, said she got the idea for the charity event while driving her kids to school. “My kids and I kept hearing the same songs from Justin Beiber every day in the car, not to mention all the celebrity gossip about the guy. I had to change the station four times each morning to get away from that little singer”, she said.

Ledbetter, whose own sister is a homeless real estate agent, came up with the idea of playing Beiber songs at their local JUCO basketball game. The money raised for the charity would happen by asking basketball fans at the game to donate in order to stop the music for 2 minutes. It was a stroke of genius, since everyone likes to help a charity and 99% of humans hate Justin Beiber music.

It only took about 30 minutes to reach the charity’s lofty goal of $106,000! Fans were booing and tossing every dollar they had into the buckets that were being passed around the gym. It was a sight to see according to some twitter users at the game, who reported on the event with the hashtags #beibersux and #itsAhateOfferring. Even though lots of folks were pitching in, the town was not exactly full of rich people. If you have homeless real estate agents in your city, then the population at large is not exactly setting the world on fire with their income. Ledbetter estimated the total cash was at about $6,000 when a gentleman walked up to her at the game and gave her a check for $100K to stop the music for the rest of the game. The big giver was Fred Snicklberger, a local guy who was known as an internet guru of some sort. We called Mr. Snicklberger’s office for his comments on why he gave so much. He said there were two reasons for his generous gift to the charity. One, he hated seeing human suffering and he was seeing plenty of it at the JUCO basketball game with the Beiber music playing. The other grounds for donating to the charity was the fact that Mr. Snicklberger had become a millionaire though Google Adsense by operating a website promoting the deportation of the Justin Beiber. “It just seemed like the right thing to do. I made my money on Beiber and I saw this charity as a chance to give some back to the community because of him and his terrible music”, stated Snicklberger.

Headlines, NCAA BB, News

Duke Still Thinks They Can Win The Tournament

March 27, 2014 JP Leave a comment

RALEIGH, NC—

The fast paced March Madness Tournament has taken flight once again, and like every year upsets have already taken place. One of the biggest upset so far has to be Dukes lose to a unknown team, Mercer.

Devastated fans faces flooded the television as Duke fell short to a team that shouldn’t have been a challenge at all to the historic men’s basketball team. Outraged and upset dukes head coach is still keeping a positive attitude, and is taking the loss as a learning experience.

“We got beat fair, and square we didn’t play our best, but that’s no excuse” said Head Coach Mike Krzyzewski

“You learn from this games how to better your team, and come out fighting for the next round of the tournament, are eyes are still set on winning this thing”

Confused by this statement we asked Krzyzewski what he meant exactly.

“Well we lost one, but are journey doesn’t end here we are waiting to see who we play next, and we will prepare for that team. Our goal is the sweet 16, then elite 8, final four, and then the whole kit and caboodle.”

We then continued to remind Krzyzewski that the tournament was a single elimination style, and that Duke was done until next year.

“What!? I thought it was double elimination!” said the coach

Nope…

“Aww, you have to be f**king kidding me! I’ve been getting this kids fired up for next week. So we are done?”

We conituned to tell the coach that he has to be kidding, as this isn’t his first appearance in the tourney, and that it has been run the same way for years.

“You know the years of coaching may have gotten to my head, and it slipped my mind. But like I said we will be back next week stronger”

Headlines, NCAA BB, News

Coach Krzyzewski Urged To Retire By Donors After Racist Remarks Toward Mercer Player

March 24, 2014 kctinman 1 Comment

Durham, North Carolina—

If losing to Mercer wasn’t bad enough, it just got worse for Duke. Evidently no one thought to watch out for possible rash actions by people affiliated with the Blue Devils, especially the head coach. I guess the next time they lose to a school that is only known for…. well nothing really, they will monitor the team’s online activities more closely afterward.

According to online witnesses, at about 12:15 AM on Friday night, a disturbing comment popped up on the YouTube video of Mercer guard, Kevin Canevari, dancing the “Nae Nae”. Now, for folks to consider a YouTube comment disturbing, it has to be bad, as those comments usually start off insulting, then get laced with profanity, and eventually turn racist or sexist. According to YouTube user “bitches_just_wanna_have_fun”, she was really shocked to see such hatred from a commenter about a fun-filled athlete celebration video.

Apparently a well-known hacker figured out the IP address of the commenter and low and behold it was coach Mike Krzyzewski. Coach K apparently thought he could remain anonymous, just by using a different user name. He is not a tech savvy teenager after all. We cannot share the exact comment in this article for fear of offending too many readers. But Coach K basically threatened to physically harm the Mercer player / dancer, Canevari, as well as immediate members of his family. Coach K went on to make several racist remarks because he apparently did not bother to watch the video and assumed the dance celebration was done by a black player? Krzyzewski, after being found out, said the only reason for the racist references were because he thought that was a prerequisite for posting a comment on YouTube.

This rumor of donors urging Coach Krzyzewski to step down after this embarrassing online incident will not go away. It is hard to imagine Duke losing their head basketball coach over a stupid YouTube video. But Duke has lost in the 1st round of the NCAA tournament twice in three years. So I guess anything is possible. Check out the video that started all this drama.

Headlines, NCAA BB, News

NCAA To Donate $1 Billion March Madness Money To Charity

March 21, 2014 IamShado Leave a comment

Indianapolis, Indiana—

If you thought the world was full big corporate executives running over the little guy, well….. you were right. But there is always the exception and sometimes seemingly corrupt big wheels do the right thing. That is what happened this morning when NCAA President Mark Emmert sent out a press release saying the NCAA will donate the entire revenue from their college basketball tournament to five different charities. In the statement Emmert says that he can no longer stomach looking at himself in the mirror so something had to be done about the unfair practices of the NCAA. “We have all these ‘student athletes’ playing their hearts out on the court and getting zero cash for it. We, as the governing body of major collegiate sports, basically raped CBS for about a billion dollars last year SON! We just cannot keep conducting business this way. Many of us leaders are frankly afraid of the bad karma that we have already built up and we have to try and reverse it by giving back”, the statement read.

This news has shocked the sports world and the players that are involved in March Madness this year. People have always assumed the NCAA would just keep raking in the cash until schools wised up and got together to put on their own tournament so they could reap all the benefits from the TV money. One anonymous player from Wichita St. was befuddled by the news of the money going to charities though. He did not understand why the charities were getting all the money and the players were left out once again. “Dude, I got rims to pay for, two baby mamas to keep up, and six cousins in my entourage that need to get paid a weekly salary”, player X said. Another player from the ACC said that he can hardly make ends meet since he cannot work even a part time job because of idiotic NCAA rules. The Senior point guard stated that he has resorted to selling gigs on Fiverr.com where he hangs a business sign around his neck and dunks a basketball for $5…with a bag on his head to remain anonymous to the NCAA. Shameful indeed.

The five charities that will be dividing up the $1 billion from the NCAA will be The Red Cross, United Way, Habitat For Humanity, Water.org, and The U.A.H.W.S.C.O.O. We called the NCAA office about the last charity and were told only that it was a charity close to the hearts of President Emmert and some other leaders of the organization. After a little digging, it turns out it stands for ‘Underprivileged Asian Hookers We Like To Sniff Cocaine Off Of’. That may have been the least shocking part of this story.

NCAA BB, News

Pitt Fan Charged With Assault After Punching Syracuse Guard Tyler Ennis

February 14, 2014 twinklesmurf Leave a comment

PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA–

The Pittsburgh Panthers were leading the undefeated and number one Syracuse Orange 56-55 with 4.4 seconds left on the clock. Following a timeout, Syracuse guard Tyler Ennis received the in-bounds pass, dribbled down the hardwood ten feet past the half-court line where he launched up the final shot with one second left. It went in as time expired and the Orange won 58-56 to improve to 24-0 on the season.

You could see it in their eyes, Panther fans were devastated and some even furious at the thought that they were so close to knocking off the number one team in the country. In fact, you could see it in their fist. Pittsburgh fan Dane Johanna had been hiding under the Syracuse bus for an estimated forty-five minutes waiting for the Orange to come aboard. When the team came out of the staff entrance at the back of the arena Johanna saw his chance. According to Syracuse guard C.J. Fair, Johanna jumped out from behind the front wheels of the bus and gave Ennis an uppercut punch to the jaw.

In the mere seconds following the incident Syracuse forward Rakeem Christmas grabbed hold of Johanna and handed him over to security. The fan is now in custody and is facing charges of assault. For Ennis, he was rushed back into the arena for medical attention, his injuries are unknown.

This incident was saddening for both coaches, Jim Boheim was asked about the situation and responded “Well, it is really terrible. Some fans just go to far, I cannot remember another time when a fan just came up and straight punched an opposing player. Hopefully Tyler (Ennis) will be fine and we can move on”. When Pittsburgh coach Jamie Dixon was asked about the altercation he was outraged. “This is just unacceptable, I am furious at the fan and this is exactly not how to react after a loss. Fans like that have no place around sports, they are terrible”.

Syracuse plays next on February 15 at home versus North Carolina State.

NCAA BB, News

Marcus Smart Starts Fight With Floyd Mayweather In McDonald’s Parking Lot

February 14, 2014 Brent Gilmore Leave a comment

STILLWATER, OKLAHOMA- Marcus Smart has recently received a three game suspension from a controversial altercation with a Texas Tech fan on the court’s sideline.

Smart has defiantly outdone himself this time with his recent fight with Floyd Mayweather in a McDonalds parking lot Friday afternoon.

Smart was seen hanging out with friends Metta WorldPeace and Chris Brown before apparently coming up and “punching Mayweather in the back of the head”. The Police Report then proceeded to say that ” Mayweather fell down and started to scream and cry for help as Marcus Smart fled the scene in a orange Honda Civic as Chris Brown drove away”. There is still no motive known of why Marcus Smart did such a crime, but many think its from him letting out his anger from the suspension he received Monday.

In recent news, Mayweather has been taken care of in Oklahoma’s City finest hospital. Mayweather had the following message to Marcus Smart over Twitter.

Marcus Smart has yet to be found after the incident but reports say he is still with Chris Brown and Metta World Peace while possibly committing more assault crimes by the second. The NCAA has yet to give details on Marcus Smart’s future in basketball, but if he is proven guilty he might not be able to play college basketball again. Police are still under the pursuit for Marcus Smart before Mayweather can get to him, if you have any details to where he can be found please contact Oklahoma City police.