Category Archives: Headlines

Top stories which are highlighted on the main page.

UFC Approves Barb Wire Octagon In Certain Countries

empire-sports-ufc-barb-wire-fence-mmaLAS VEGAS– In a move that is meant to boost its TV ratings, the UFC has stirred up some major controversy as well. Dana White announced this morning that they have gotten barb wire Octagons approved in certain countries. The cages will be lined with sharp barb wire, like is used to contain cattle and goats. He stated that there were several countries that are on board with the new, more dangerous UFC cage fights. Some of the notable / infamous countries are North Korea, Somalia, and Zimbabwe. The countries which are going to allow the barbaric cage fights all meet two requirements from the UFC; be basically lawless and need revenue.

White’s reason for upping the ante on the danger level of the MMA fights is simple. “We want to grow the sport, period. The best way to do that is to make fights available in more countries across the globe, and make them more exciting. Barb wire Octagons will draw fans from the worst places on earth. We have to provide next level blood lust,” said White.

Dana White has made it no secret that the UFC wants to take away some NFL fans who are put off by the new safety conscious football league. Even if he is successful in pulling in only 2% of NFL fans who are fed up with the pussification of pro football, that would mean billions of dollars over time.

Getting this new Octagon designed has not been without its challenges. Obviously, you cannot have these types of fights in the USA or any civilized country for that matter. And finding a good company to construct such cages meant to trap two human combatants, has proved difficult, as no reputable company wants to be connected with this activity. Ultimately Haliburton took on the contract for the UFC. Also, former WWE superstar and master of the barb wire match, Mick Foley, has been the main consultant on the cage design. The UFC wanted an expert to make sure the Octagon was designed properly and that referees were properly trained, all to ensure maximum damage was possible to each fighter.

White did an interview over the phone with Bill O’Reilly concerning the barb wire UFC fights. O’Reilly asked a poignant question of the UFC President, “People are saying these new matches are inhumane and furthermore that you are perpetuating the notion that the UFC is basically human cock-fighting. What say you?” “Don’t give a fu*k,” White said before ending the interview and hanging up.

We will have to see how this all plays out. While it is true that the NFL is becoming softer than soccer, I am not sure that barb wire UFC battles are the answer. The ratings will determine what wins out in the end. Will fans go for the reduced violence of the NFL or will they turn their attention to the bloody battles of UFC barb wire matches in the darkest corners of the earth?

Brad Pitt Agrees To Pay Attacker’s Bail If He’ll Fight MMA Legend Chuck Liddell

empire-sports-Vitalii-Sediuk-Brad-Pitt-Chuck-Lidell-Fight-Bail-MMA-Assault-Attack-Maleficent-Premiere-Movie-AssailantHOLLYWOOD, California – 

Brad Pitt was assaulted at the premiere of his wife Angelia Jolie’s new film Maleficent earlier this week by self-proclaimed celebrity “prankster” Vitalii Sediuk. Sediuk apparently made it past security and hit Pitt in the face while he was signing autographs for fans.

The scuffle was apparently short lived, as private security instantly restrained Sediuk until police arrived, where they arrested and charged him with assault. Pitt initially filed an emergency restraining order on Sediuk, but then rescinded the order when Pitt’s longtime friend, MMA legend Chuck Liddell, offered to “put a pounding” to Sediuk for him.

Although no official announcement has been made, so far what is known is that the fight will take place in Las Vegas, and that assuming all legal channels can be cleared in time, it would be set for the second week in June. Pitt was quoted as saying he thought it was a “wonderful idea,” and offered to pay Sediuk’s $20,000 bail if Sediuk would agree to take the fight with Liddell.

“This entire thing would be legit, all legal. We’re not talking about me, you know, sicking my extremely well-trained, badass friend onto some loser.” Said Pitt. “[And] Sediuk may be a loser, but this will still turn out okay. We plan to turn this all around and create a charity event, a charity fight. I want Sediuk to get his ass kicked by  Chuck, and I’m going to take all the money we make from it and give it to starving and orphaned children around the world.”

Pitt and Liddell met several years ago when Liddell was hired as a fight coordinator for the film Kick Ass, which Pitt’s company Plan B Entertainment produced. Reportedly, as soon as Liddell heard about the attack, he called Pitt to pitch him the idea.

“I normally don’t get involved in things like this.” Said Liddell. “But Brad is a friend. Angelina, the kids – they’re good people. This guy is a jerkoff who thinks he is some sort of prankster, some sort of hotshot. I’ve beaten the hell out of a lot of hotshots in my day. Retired or not, I can always add one more.”

Because Sediuk has a history of altercations with other celebrities in Hollywood, other stars including Leonardo DiCaprio and Will Smith are also lending their support to Pitt. Both DiCaprio and Smith have been victims of Sediuk’s antics in the past; DiCaprio had his crotch grabbed last year, and Sediuk grabbed Smith and tried to kiss him at the premiere of Men In Black 3.

As of this writing, Sediuk was still in jail in Los Angeles awaiting a court hearing. His lawyers have brought him all relevant information on the fight, and sources say that Sediuk is willing to participate.

UFC Ref Big John McCarthy Beaten Up At Los Angeles Costco

empire-sports-big-john-mccarthy-beaten-up-attacked-jumped-costco-hollywoodLOS ANGELES– Big John McCarthy of UFC ref fame was attacked and knocked unconscious early afternoon on Wednsesday at a Los Angeles Costco. Unfortunately there was no one to step in and stop the fight once he was clearly knocked out.

The assailants were, according to witnesses, two MMA fanatics who recognized Big John and started hassling the well known referee. They particularly had some issues with a couple of fights that they felt were stopped prematurely by McCarthy, according to eye witnesses.

“They were shouting something about an old Tito Ortiz fight back in the day,” said Joseph Goldsmith who saw the fight after buying his 300 pound bag of Cheetos at the Costco.

big-john-mccarthy-assailant-mugshot-beaten-up
A mugshot of one of the assailants shows the damage inflicted by Big John before he was knocked out

Big John is no pushover, as he is a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Black Belt, but these two attackers had the element of surprise, as no one would imagine being attacked in a Costco parking lot over controversial fight stoppages. Big John apparently was facing one of the attackers, when he was hit in the back of the head with a large bag of staples purchased at the big box store. It is hard to recover from that, but Big John did manage to get in his licks. The two low lifes were pretty scuffed up in their mug shots. But there were two of them and only one of Big John. The move that finished McCarthy off was when he was clobbered by a 16 pound jar of peanut butter….crunchy. They caught him right on the temple and as UFC fans know, it was lights out.
There were some witnesses who tried to help the UFC ref but the two thugs were hardcore. Even after McCarthy was unconscious they added some kicks to the ribs for good measure. One witness actually jumped in and tried to wave the two attackers off, saying, “it’s all over, he’s out.” The guy just got caught up in the moment and is an aspiring MMA ref, he was not trying to save Big John evidently. Police finally arrived to break up the beating. One witness, Jerry Gallo, told us, “I am glad those thugs are off the streets, but I feel like the police stopped the fight a bit too soon. Big John may have been out cold but I feel like he could have rebounded at any time.”

UFC fans can rest assured that McCarthy will be back on his feet in a few days. He is recovering nicely and will be back at his training facility very soon. He will be appearing on the Joe Rogan podcast next Tuesday to discuss the upward trend of violence at wholesale store parking lots.

Baltimore Orioles Sign Underhand Pitcher With 105 MPH Fastball

empire-sports-orioles-underhand-pitcher-105-mph-Hidaki-leiBALTIMORE, Maryland –

The Baltimore Orioles have picked up an exciting new addition to their bullpen today; A free agent from across the sea has been picked up, and will be placed on the Orioles’ roster. The player is Hidaki Lei, a 24 year old player who can throw some crazy heat behind the mound. Hidaki was being scouted by almost every team in the MLB for the past few months when a tape of him pitching hit YouTube in the United States.

Hidaki was clocked at an astounding 105 MPH fastball, and threw 3 perfect games in one season for his previous team. The Orioles management feel that he will make a great fit for their organization.

To add some icing to this cake, Lei only throws the ball underhanded. It is a very odd pitching style that is not often used, but that has clearly been mastered by Lei. Lei is scheduled to make his pitching debut for the O’s at the end of May.

“I’m excited to be a part of the this team, and I’m glad my skills can be used to help them hopefully win games. I had a lot of different offers come my way these past months, but this team seemed to fit me the most.” said Lei through a language interpreter. “I began to throw like this at an early age, and it just felt right. I have tried to throw the ball over handed, but my speed fell dramatically.”

Lei has signed a 3 year contract with the Orioles, with possibility for an extension based on how he transitions into the season.

 

Vince McMahon To Re-Launch Failed XFL Football Promotion

STAMFORD, Connecticut – empire-sports-vince-mcmahon-relaunch-xfl-football-xtreme-league-NFL

In what many sports professionals are calling the “worst move of the century,” WWE Chairman Vince McMahon announced this morning that he would be re-launching the XFL, or the “X-Treme Football League,” a football promotion that he created and co-owned with NBC Networks back in 2001. The league was meant to be complimentary to the NFL, in that it would be played in the NFL’s off-season and feature more “regular” people as opposed to high-paid athletes.

The league itself lasted exactly one season after it failed to garner any fans. There were major differences to the play that fans of the NFL never got behind, including having all games played outside in natural grass and there being no point-after-touchdown (PAT) kicks. Teams were even allowed to print anything they wanted on the back of their on-field jerseys, with players emblazoning random sayings like “HE HATE ME” on their backs. Religious scripture and bible quotes were also common. These bizarre rules, coupled with the lack of any recognizable players, made the whole promotion flounder right out of the gate.

McMahon has acknowledged that the XFL was a failure, but has promised that his “NewXFL” will not become the laughingstock of sports history for a second time.

“There were a lot of things that we did wrong the first time with the XFL, and this time there are going to be changes.” said McMahon. “There are things we promised football fans that we just didn’t deliver on. We said there were going to be almost ‘no rules’ in the XFL, but really there were plenty, and they were just all taken right out of the CFL and World Football League handbooks. Well, not this time.”

McMahon went on to describe several changes that he feels will be advantageous to the sport, including allowing his players to use steroids if they wish, full-contact hits after play has stopped, and the ability to bring foreign-objects onto the field, such as brass knuckles, steel chairs, or kendo sticks.

“We are going to make this the WWE of the football world, just like it was supposed to be the first time. You want football and you want violence, and that is what the NewXFL is going to give you. It’s going to be the ‘Attitude Era’ of football, if you will. Hell, even the cheerleaders are going to be hotter this time around.”

McMahon has recently been in the news for losing over a quarter of a billion dollars worth of stock in his company, after traders and investors got cold feet over the low subscription numbers in McMahon’s new WWE Network, a streaming service available on many platforms including Roku, Android, and Apple TV set-top boxes.

“This is not the time to talk about recent setbacks, or past failures.” Said McMahon when questioned about the WWE Network. “[But] I don’t think that The Network is a failure at all. I think it’s a fantastic idea that all true wrestling fans love. We’ve got content going back for over 40 years worth of wrestling. The subscriptions will come over time. We knew that’s how it would go.”

McMahon continued with the promise that as the NewXFL takes off, it would be available to current WWE Network subscribers at no additional cost as part of their regular Network programming. For non-subscribers, the games will be shown on SpikeTV, making the move over from NBC/Universal Networks on its initial run.

UFC Added To The 2016 Rio Olympics

empire-sports-UFC-added-olympics-rio-2016-mma-martial-arts-fightingLAS VEGAS, Nevada-

One of the fastest fan-growing sports is taking the next step in its journey. The UFC took storm with its fast-paced fights and knockouts, and now fans can be happy to hear that it will be the next sport to enter the Olympics.

In a press conference over the weekend, the International Olympic Committee announced that Mixed Martial Arts will be added to the 2016 Olympics in Rio.

At first, people weren’t considering the UFC as an actual sport, but more of a brutal backyard street fight with no composure. With years of competitive fight after fight, and even adding in a female chapter, the UFC has proved that they stand the test to be the next big Olympic sport.

Fighters from all over the globe will be entering for their chance at a gold, silver, or bronze medal for their country. Ratings are expected to be huge in America, because we all know we would rather watch some guy from Turkey get his head slammed in by a guy from Russia than watch people dance around in a swimming pool.

One fighter may have a leg up in this new arena –  Ronda Rousey has fought in the Olympics before, and has even won a medal for the United States. Something is telling us that she will bring home even more medals this next time around.

Also, this news gives a second chance to Olympic athletes seeking an opportunity to compete for their country again. Not only will ex-boxers-turned-UFC fighters get a chance, but rumors of Michael Phelps taking the octagon have been hitting social media.

Phelps tweeted: “I plan on returning to the Olympics, but not as a swimmer, as a fighter! #goforgold #winning #isfigthinghard? #Imkindofscared #Subway #EatFresh

Several fighters have already stated their interest in fighting in the 2016 Rio Olympics for their respective countries, including George St Pierre, Jon Jones, and Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson.

New NBA ‘Fairness’ Rule Forcing Teams To Have White Player On Court At All Times

empire-sports-nba-rule-white-players-legality-honkeysNEW YORK CITY–

A lot of controversy is surrounding the NBA, and a new rule change won’t make a better case for the organization. With stories of Donald Sterling hitting every news station, and the word racism being tossed around frequently, officials from the NBA held a meeting, and have decided on a new rule for next season.

The rule that is being put to place is being called “Sighting” but basically refers to having a white player on both teams constantly on the court. The heads of the NBA have found it not fair to have all African Americans players at one time, and wanted to create a loop hole which would force at least one white person on a team constantly playing.

“I know it seems crazy, but we have found that this may be the fairest way to going about this,” said an official who wants to remain anonymous. We are unsure if this is because of race matters, or talent, either way we needed to make a change on this scenario. Now, we now that the fans would rather see a 6 foot African American slam an alley oop, but we are going to have to settle with seeing a 6 foot white player barely get in a lay up now and again.”

The new rule will take effect this following NBA season, and will also force some NBA teams to draft a few white players. If the a team does not have at least one White player on their team roster, they will be fined until one is drafted or picked up. Not exactly the fairest way to go about it in that aspect, but rules are rules.

New NFL Rule Makes It A Penalty To Touch Quarterback

empire-sports-no-hitting-qb-nfl-ruleDENVER, Colorado–

The NFL has taken on a wide new series of rules, and regulations to provide the safest game for their players. Even using new technology to create better equipment to provide a safer game has been going on for the past few years. With the new rules we have witnessed flags for hits that use to be okay, and people getting fined for playing the way they were taught how to play.

With the concussion controversy it was clear that at some point the National Football League would take the step in this direction. Starting the 2014 season it will be a 15 yard penalty and possible ejection if a defense player even touches the opposing quarterback.

The rule was put into place to protect franchise QBs from getting hurt and not being able to play. The officials have decided that a hurt QB can end a season for a team, and owners felt that losing a high salary player would be a tremendous waste of team money.

The new rule will be called “Touching the Passer” and even the slightest bit of contact will draw a flag. Classes have already begun in Denver, Colorado for NFL referees to learn what is okay, and not okay when dealing with touching the passer.

“Basically you can’t even touch the QB, your only hope is to chase him out of bounds” said an NFL ref.

“Once the QB is being pursued he has to either throw the ball or take a slid. I’m not positive how many QBs will take advantage of this new rule, and just run for 80 yards, but I feel like it will be a lot”

The rule has been sent to each team in the NFL, and certain teams are already tuning up their play books, a lot of quarterback keeps may be in our future.

 

Eco-Friendly Law Forces NASCAR Drivers To Race In Electric Cars

empire-sports-nascar-electric-car-law-government-ecoboost-hybridDAYTONA, Florida–

Die hard NASCAR fans are not going to happy with the new eco-friendly law that has just been passed. The new law, House Act E.205, states that any car being used for entertainment will have to be electrical. This meaning NASCAR, monster trucks, etc. The act has been floating around congress for years now but has finally seen the light of day.

Due to the fact that monster trucks have no models that happen to be electric, gas-powered automobiles (for now) are still legally able to run.

Unfortunately, seeing how the NASCAR organization has taking steps into building electric cars in previous years, they are all set and ready to race all eco-friendly cars. This meaning that starting very soon fans will get to experience the high paced racing of cars going at speeds of up to 45 MPH!  Well, not exactly, but the speed will be noticeably slower than current cars.

If you are a person that not only enjoys NASCAR, but other automobiles entertainment, expect the same fate for your beloved sports.

Fan are outraged by the news and have been saying things such as, some comments left on the NASCAR website included;

“This is America! Let them Arabic p***ies race electric cars, they got enough gas!”

“It’s shifting gears, and drinking beers! Not pushing button, and hoping for something”

“As person that has been a NASCAR fan for many fortnight, I find the act to be in violation of our freedom to be informed when a matter like this is present. I feel that congress has gone behind our backs, and we as the people of the United States of America deserve, nay, are born with the privilege to fight for what we believe in without having big brother strip it from us”

“Dem dudes are bitches, and I hope they die in fire! Amen”

“Car’s go vroom!”

As you can see the new has brought out rage within the NASCAR community.

NASCAR is already planning to appeal the new law as they feel it will seriously damage their brand.

 

 

Joe Rogan To Fight In The UFC

LAS VEGAS, Nevada – joe rogan

One of the favorites in the UFC community is stepping away from the microphone and heading into the octagon. According to sources within the UFC, Joe Rogan will be taking center stage in an upcoming UFC bout.

According to Rogan, the fight was scheduled due to a challenge by an un-named fighter.

“Basically, this fighter called me a bitch and said I wouldn’t step in to the ring,” said Rogan in an interview on Saturday afternoon. “So I convinced Dana [White] to let me fight and now I’m going to show this guy who the bitch is.”

Since the beginning of the UFC Rogan has been there in support, and even traveling with the organization before the company blew up. He cashed in a few favors with Dana White and now the fight is set to take center stage.

“There is a reason we have Joe on our team here in UFC, he isn’t just a personality, he is a great fighter with knowledge about the sport,” said White.

“I feel bad for the dude that called him out, because I promise Joe will knock the living shit out of him. He’s going to wish he challenged Joe in his other show Fear Factor rather than going into the octagon with him. I know I myself would rather eat a bull testicle then take a kick to the face from Rogan.”

Dana White has yet to make an official comment for the fight but it is expected that he will within the next week.  A date for the event should be set sometime after.