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DES MOINES, IOWA–.

Well, he’s done it again. Not with baseball, not with basketball, but with hockey. Apparently the man just can’t quit.

The legend of the Chicago Bulls, one of the all time greats, has decided to come back and play sports again. He did it with baseball, now he wants to try his hand at hockey.

At first, Michael Jordan had a hard time finding a team to take him. Then he remembered that he was a very rich man, and bought the Des Moines Buccaneers, an Ice Hockey team located in Urbandale, Iowa. The Buccaneers are a first tier team that plays in the United States Hockey League. After trying out for the team before this season started, and ultimately ending up cut, it appears he has bought the team in order to ensure a spot on the roster.

USHL regulations keep Jordan from playing this season, but rest assured that he will be playing on the ice next year.

“I’ve always liked Hockey,” Jordan says, “but have never really had the time for it. Now that I’ve been retired for some time, and have a ton of money to burn, I think I would like to give it a go.”

When asked about the regulations keeping him from playing the rest of the year, Jordan was quoted saying, “I don’t really like them, to be honest. In fact, I hate them. I am thinking about giving a generous donation to the league to see if they will let me play.”

Jordan didn’t comment on his hockey skills during his press conference, but rest assured this happy reporter will be following this news very carefully in the coming months.

PHILADELPHIA–

Does Michael Vick believe in Karma?

Well if he didn’t before I’m sure he does now. Michael Vick was hospitalized in a pit bull attack in downtown Philadelphia this morning. When police investigated the scene they found at least 3 other pit bulls in cages although it didn’t appear that the dogs had been used for fighting.

While the police technically can’t charge Vick with dog-fighting (again), we feel he might have learned his lesson this time around. Apparently, one of the dogs got out of it’s cage and went on a rampage, hospitalizing 7 people including of course Michael Vick.

Michael Vick has experienced a lot of downers lately. Getting charged with dog-fighting, losing his starting job, and now getting hospitalized by a pit bull.

We also have an interview with Michael Vick before he went to the hospital. Interviewer: “Why were you in the same facility as people who were fighting dogs?” Michael Vick: “I did not even know that was a dog fighting lab.” Interviewer: “Were you watching the dogs fight? The cameras caught you going in 3 hours before the incident happened.” MV: “No comment. Can we get out of here please?”

Michael Vick apparently did not want to talk to reporters about the incident. I wonder why.

Category Archives: Headlines

Not Again, Jordan! Michael Jordan Returns For Third Time

Michael Vick Hospitalized In Pit Bull Attack